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Chat = Crack
They should just call it crack. At o'dark-thirty this morning, when AIM arbitrarily booted me and then convinced my ISP to get in on the action when I tried signing back on (under both screennames, no less), I would have pimped out my own grandmother to get back to chat. (That's the grandmother who used to be a nun, too, not the one who didn't grow out of her slutty phase till her 70s.)
This is not the only way chat is like crack. Consider:
Jack: "i'm upset that there's -still- no more litney or whionel or whatever they're calling it this year
Caro: well if there was
Slodwick: heh
Slodwick: and ew
Caro: it would be necrophilia
Bex: whitney's dead, jack. you have to move on.
Caro: you could write ZOMBIE whitney
Bex: may I interest you in a nice Seth? Or perhaps a Ryan?
Caro: fox still has that challenge
Jack: whitney's not dead, he's missing in action presumed dead.
Fox: ZOMBIE!
Fox: ZOMBIE!
Fox: It's not just me. It's also Erica.
Caro: fox baby, are *you* writing?
Jack: also, may i remind you he was wearing lana's creeptonite pendant?
Caro: yes! dude. there coudl so be ZOMBIE!whit fic.
Jack: seth or ryan... with lionel?
Caro: ...
Caro: NO
Bex: why the hell not?
Slodwick: ACK!!
Slodwick: NO!!!!!!!!!
Bex: *laughs*
Caro: *eyes bex*
Slodwick: NONONONO
Caro: you leave my boys alone!
Slodwick: ethan is stupid.
Caro: *laughs at slod*
Bex: he is not
Fox: *can't stop laughing*
Slodwick: he is.
Bex: he tried to stop clark cheating on lex
Caro: *dying*
Slodwick: he should hook up with Lionel.
Caro: hey slod, we could ethan/lionel
Bex: Dude, I'm on board with that
Fox: dear computer,
Fox: please stop being a fuckass.
Fox: Thank you.
Bex: Lionel is hotness
Jack: well, see, i like lionelporn. and while i'm fond of lex/lionel, i think daddy ought to get around some.
Slodwick: you are a sick sick puppy bex.
Fox: <3, Amy
Bex: why??
Bex: *sits with Jack in the Lionelporn corner*
Jack: and you suggested seth or ryan as alternatives to whitney
Slodwick: just... no. i'm feeling the Lionel deserves nothing good vibe.
Jack: lionel is hot like a hot hot thing.
Bex: word
Caro: *agrees with slod*
Bex: i just said word. kill me now.
Caro: you're my favorite bobomonkey slod
LaT: I'm with Slod.
LaT: Lionel gets nothing.
Jack: as is john glover.
Slodwick: woot!
Caro: *has to be specific in monkey favorites*
Slodwick: i got Caro & LaT.
Slodwick: i'm happy with that.
Bex: John Glover...I'm so his bitch
LaT: Except maybe coal for Christmas and a knife in the back low about S4 from Lex.
Slodwick: mmmm knife.
Caro: hee
Caro: yes!
Slodwick: yes... kill Lionel all you want.
Slodwick: you can even have ZOMBIE!whit do it.
Caro: ack. why are there more people in my house
Caro: *weeps*
Jack: i've been pondering whether rutger hauer's morgan edge character is squicky to slash with lionel
Bex: no!
Caro: oh dude. everyone's about the ledge now
Slodwick: man.
Bex: not at all!
Slodwick: they were so slashy
Bex: they're so fucking!
Fox: *sings* ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE
Caro: fox, edge could be a ZOMBIE now
Jack: you don't understand the history i have with meneer hauer
LaT: Oh, now, even I saw the Lionel/Edge.
Slodwick: he certainly looks dead, caro
LaT: And I'm really not about Lionel getting any, 'cause like I said, in LaTverse, he gets nothing.
Fox: edge?
LaT: *eg*
LaT: Morgan Edge.
Jack: the way it played out was suggestive, no question
Jack: oh, and he's alive.
Caro: of course
Caro: he and helen can be back for sweeps
LaT: I don't usually like the smushed together name thing, but I like Ledge for Lionel/Edge.
Jack: if he wasn't ok, clark would've rescued him
Slodwick: hee! ledge!
Jack: ledge! lol
Slodwick: and i'm jumping off it.
Slodwick: helen/edge = HEDGE!!
Slodwick: hehe
LaT: *snickers*
Jack: i don't see helen coming back until at least s4
Fox: I love the smushed together name thing. Because it leads to such beautiful stories.
Caro: hee
Bex: must she?
Fox: *points proudly to her own love of CLaP*
Bex: *sigh*
LaT: Oh, I think Helen will be back from February sweeps.
LaT: from = for
Caro: pregnant, LaT?
Slodwick: for her big, fiery death.
Caro: *eg*
LaT: Possibly.
Slodwick: gah!
Caro: dude. lat made me cry
Slodwick: *plugs ears*
Caro: she was all "helen could be lena's mom!"
Slodwick: la, la, la!
LaT: <== is ebil
Caro: yes.
Slodwick: you ah!
Fox: lena?
Caro: but hot.
Jack: nah, if she was preggers, she'd have been showing already
Caro: so it's okay
Bex: Noooooooooo
Caro: actually, you're much like future!lex
Bex: *protects Lena*
Bex: What did she ever do to you??
Bex: Her mother is a Countess!
Bex: Not some creept ass doctor bitch!
Bex: *flies off the handle with gay abandon*
Caro: mmm gay
LaT: Oh, no, Jack. I think the way Lex convinved Helen to go back up on the plane was some serious lovin' the night before.
Slodwick: hee
Caro: can i invite joyfulgirl in here?
LaT: Because really? That's some fierce mojo.
LaT: Of course!
Bex: LaT is evil. She's trying to make me write Helex sex.
Bex: See? She's still doing it now!
Caro: hee
Slodwick: i think i'm actually going to go, y'all... i have the urge to write, and it happens so rarely.
joyfulgirl4140 has entered the room.
LaT: I mean, she *knows* he "doesn't let things go." Yet she went back on a plane with him.
Caro: okay slodmonkey
Bex: bye slodling!
LaT: Go write, Slod!
Caro: hey joy
Joyful: *waves*
LaT: *waves to joyful*
Caro: are you writing helex sex slod?
Joyful: Hi!
Slodwick: ha!
Slodwick: and no.
Caro: *g*
LaT: *giggles*
Fox: *sniffles*
Fox: byebye slod.
Slodwick: bye! *hugs room*
Caro: *loves on slod*
LaT: Bex, come on. You know you want to!
Fox: I miss you already
Caro: bye pie
Fox: *weeps*
Slodwick: aww
Bex: E. Vil.
Caro: no no no bex has more roomies to write
Slodwick: we have NaNo to bond over fochs
Fox: we do!
Joyful: Yes! Bex has roomies to write!
Bex: I was trying to push that bunny onto *you*
Slodwick has left the room.
Caro: mm LaT shoudl write it
Bex: And you were tricksy and turned it around on me!
Jack: ...of course they had sex that night, lat, lex would want to fuck her every way possible... but he's not stupid enough to
leave her any semen.
LaT: Heee! I'm crafty that way.
Caro: see, she is like lex.
Bex: *grins*
Bex: Jack, that's what I'm saying
LaT: *g* No, Lena's mom should be the Countess. I agree.
Bex: if I was Lex, I'd want to make her come as many times as I possibly could, and *then* dump her sorry ass in the ocean
Bex: just because I *could*.
Fox: dude, at least she'd die happy
LaT: See, Bex, you've got it in you to write some Helex sex.
LaT: *nods*
Bex: grrr
Jack: it's amusing that it's practically fanon that lex is an outstanding lover.
LaT: Seriously, though, I just love the subtle hint of future!Lex that that gave us.
Fox: "practically", Jack?
Joyful: How could he not be? Just look at him.
Fox: i can't think of a single fic that doesn't make him stalliony
Bex: dude, someone should write him as being really lame in bed
Bex: because it would make me laugh
Fox: I could do that!
Bex: You should!
Fox: ...would I have to write boyparts?
Caro: yes
Fox: icky
Jack: there are several that deal with his adolesence as an unsexy freak, and at least one that posits him as never having
been with a man
LaT: Because that's what he's going to be like. Charismatic enough, charming enough, sensually appealing enough to make
people do his bidding, be willing to follow him, wander into a false sense of security if he's trying to put on a
LaT: smackdown.
Jack: just think of the penis as an enormous, malfunctioning clitoris
Fox: *dies*
Bex: *nods at LaT* He's always been sexy, but he needs to be *charming*, and a bratty playboy isn;t charming. Neither is
the weirdo who keeps getting married and/or beaten up.
Jack: it's not entirely unapt.
Fox: I always kind of assumed that his shiny shiny head distracted people, and then he hit them over the head and then
they did his bidding.
Bex: no, fox, he's got a hypnotic ass.
LaT: *snicker*
Bex: that's why he wiggles it so much.
Caro: *snickers
Caro: and the hips!
Caro: the slinky hips
Fox: So they're distracted by his head, they look down to avoid it, and BANG!
Bex: yup
Fox: Thrawl?
Bex: Thrall
Caro: what bex said
Bex: which is the same thing
Fox: Thrall. Right.
Fox: Um. I was typing British?
Bex: *rolls foxlet*
Jack: i wonder if he learned of the amazing hypnotic power of his ass by observing lionel's reactions to it
Fox: *giggles and snugs*
Bex: hee, jack
Jack: consider how often he turns his back on people
Jack: especially when those people are clark or lionel
Bex: "I'm taking the porsche away!" *wiggle* "Uh...more brandy, son?"
LaT: *laughs*
Joyful: Eeep. *bounces* If anyone needs me, I'll be over in the corner freaking out.
Bex: *laughs*
Bex: It's Jack's fault, Joy.
At which point we digressed to discuss![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
joyfulgirl41's fantastic new monster-sized AU story, "The Road Not Taken" which you should read the next time you have at least three hours free. Then bexless went off to sleep, and of course the topic couldn't stay dead...
Fox: Look! Shiny!
Caro: ooh where
Fox: here
Fox: *points*
Caro: shiny fox ZOMBIE muppetfic?
Fox: *blinks*
Fox: ...I miss bex.
Caro: *giggles*
Fox: I have a fic that I don't recognize.
Jack: ZOMBIES make me think of the serpent and the rainbow
Fox: That's odd.
Fox: *ponders*
Fox: Jack should write ZOMBIEfic
Caro: jack should.
Fox: I bet Jack gives good ZOMBIE
Jack: SatRslash?
Jack: or other sorts of ZOMBIES?
Jack: thrillerslash?
Jack: podpeopleslash?
Caro: it was just ZOMBIES
Caro: any fandom
Jack: republicanslash?
Caro: as long as there were ZOMBIES
Caro: ...
Caro: republicanslash
Caro: okay, my brain huts
Caro: *hurts
Jack: most republicans i've met must be ZOMBIES
Caro: i'd agree
Caro: but i don't need to read about them having sex
LaT: Oh, come on! Bush/Cheney's hot and you know it!
Caro: *cries*
Fox: *eyes*
Fox: *hides behind caro*
Caro: bex was right about you
Caro: evil.
Jack: dick cheney shouldn't be allowed to be named dick, he's so unsexy
LaT: *snicker*
Jack: sometimes my spacebar works
LaT: And also an animatronic puppet, imo.
Fox: nah. Animatronic puppets are a lot more lifelike, these days
Caro: i have cake!
Jack: speaking of dicks, though?
Fox: cake!
Jack: i wish dick grayson would climb in through my window sometime.
Fox: *is always worried when "speaking of dicks..." comes up*
Caro: LOL
Caro: fox, you're punny
Fox: *blushes happily*
Jack: except i have screens and he couldn't get in. stupid building code.
Fox: *snugs caro*
Caro: aww, jack, i bet he'd bring stuff to cut the screens
Fox: he's crafty
Caro: *cuddles fox and shares cake with fox*
Jack: if only i didn't have screens on my windows, nightwing could surprise me in my bed ANY DAY NOW
Jack: lalala
Caro: yes. any day.
Caro: he could be trying ot get in right now, jack
Jack: um... i have a sexy wheelchair just like barbara, of course he'd want me?
Caro: he totally wants you
Caro: *snugs jack*
Jack: ::lives in a world where gotham is a real place and can be visited::
Fox: *eyes fic files* My Muppetfic is my biggest fic.
Fox: Almost twice as big as my next-largest.
Fox: That can't be healthy.
Caro: muppetfic rocks
Caro: you're my favorite muppet author
Fox: awwwwwww, thanks!
There then followed a long digression into Muppets, Mr Rogers and whether children's programming can, or ought to, be slashed... which I am refraining from copying here, as apparently I've been scarring people's psyches. Anyway, a couple of hours later, possibly under the lingering influence of Fox's shiny new story, I began to have this strange feeling.
Jack: hm. i think i'm kinda in the mood to write femslash.
Jack: if someone would lay the right pairing on me.
Jack: fox is corrupting me to the chick side!
Fox: *tackles jack* I love you.
Fox: A lot.
Fox: What fandom do you want?
Rana: Anamaria/Elizabeth, though you didn't hear it from me.
Jack: throw stuff out and see what sticks.
LaT: back in a bit, folks.
Rana: *waves*
ckjmt has left the room.
J: bye LaT
Jack: ok lat
Jack: i don't know who anamaria or elizabeth are
Fox: *thinks* Faith/Lilah. Faith/Buffy.
Fox: Faith/crossover.
Fox: Torrance/Missy.
Rana: Have you seen PotC yet, Jack?
Fox: Jen/Audrey.
Jack: aye, rana. y'arrr.
Mel: anamaria/elizabeth!
Jack: hm. i think i could do faith/buffy, matybe.
Mel: there should be more
Rana: The lead woman was Elizabeth. The pirate chick whose boat Jack lost was Anamaria.
Jack: ohhhhh.
Rana: Amanda/Lucy.
Mel: it would be so great!
Mel: because Elizabeth is obviously a pirate, and Will is not.
Mel: also, hot lesbian pirate sex
J: yea, i agree
Jack: i did see it, but many moons ago. refresher would be required before i could write those two, alas
mignonne41 has entered the room.
J: hey molly
Jack: molly!
Molly: hey, lovely people
Fox: Why have I not updated my site in a long time? WHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYY?
Rana: I haven't either, Foxlet. *soothes the Foxlet*
Fox: I'm going to have to HTML, like, thirty fics.
Fox: And then I'm going to weep.
Jack: ik still haven't made my site.
Rana: This is why I haven't updated, Fox. That and finding good backgrounds can be a bitch.
Rana: Jack, I would love to see what you do with Anamaria/Elizabeth.
Fox: *giggles* I'ev been going through my LJ and just opening every entry entitled "ficwhore"
Jack: yeah, i should get myself a copy.
Rana: Or Amanda/Lucy, because Lucy needs love too.
Jack: whoa.
MysteryBethy has left the room.
Jack: hrmmm. ::goes to look for buffy episode guide page::
Rana: What was the whoa?
Jack: that was 'whoa, amanda/lucy'
Rana: Ah.
Rana: I always thought they were a natural.
Caro: justice league!
Caro: lex!
Jack: waaah! my stupid cable company STILL won't give us cartoon network.
Caro: evil.
Jack: very.
Caro: *pets jack*
Jack: ::purrs::
Rana: How can you live?
Rana: *hugs Cartoon Network close*
Rana: Get a dish.
Jack: i'm considering the dish.
Rana: I love my dish. It gives me all kinds of goodies.
Rana: And I'm paying less than basic cable costs around here.
Jack: but as i have only 1 tv, and cannot afford both cableand dish, 'twould cause many taping difficulties.
Rana: I tape from the dish, I just haven't figured out how to tape one thing and watch another.
Jack: you can't with dish
Rana: Fortunately, I'm not much of a TV watcher, so this hasn't been too problematic.
Fox: *giggles* while searching for my fic, I keep finding things from this summer that make me want to work again
Jack: i'm getting sleepy. i'm going to go either take a nap or sleep through till morning.
Caro: aww
Fox: *sniffles*
Fox: (I miss you already
Rana: You need to dream the femslash. *nods wisely*
Jack: mmm, angsty femslashy dreams
Jack: ok, later peeps
Fox: Mmmmm. Yes. Dream pretty femslashy dreams
Caro: bye jack
Fox: *kisses jack*
Fox: byebye
Of course, that's not what I dreamed about. What did I dream about? Bloody ZOMBIEfic. And what did I start writing when I got up this morning? A ZOMBIE story!
Crack, I tell you.
This is not the only way chat is like crack. Consider:
Jack: "i'm upset that there's -still- no more litney or whionel or whatever they're calling it this year
Caro: well if there was
Slodwick: heh
Slodwick: and ew
Caro: it would be necrophilia
Bex: whitney's dead, jack. you have to move on.
Caro: you could write ZOMBIE whitney
Bex: may I interest you in a nice Seth? Or perhaps a Ryan?
Caro: fox still has that challenge
Jack: whitney's not dead, he's missing in action presumed dead.
Fox: ZOMBIE!
Fox: ZOMBIE!
Fox: It's not just me. It's also Erica.
Caro: fox baby, are *you* writing?
Jack: also, may i remind you he was wearing lana's creeptonite pendant?
Caro: yes! dude. there coudl so be ZOMBIE!whit fic.
Jack: seth or ryan... with lionel?
Caro: ...
Caro: NO
Bex: why the hell not?
Slodwick: ACK!!
Slodwick: NO!!!!!!!!!
Bex: *laughs*
Caro: *eyes bex*
Slodwick: NONONONO
Caro: you leave my boys alone!
Slodwick: ethan is stupid.
Caro: *laughs at slod*
Bex: he is not
Fox: *can't stop laughing*
Slodwick: he is.
Bex: he tried to stop clark cheating on lex
Caro: *dying*
Slodwick: he should hook up with Lionel.
Caro: hey slod, we could ethan/lionel
Bex: Dude, I'm on board with that
Fox: dear computer,
Fox: please stop being a fuckass.
Fox: Thank you.
Bex: Lionel is hotness
Jack: well, see, i like lionelporn. and while i'm fond of lex/lionel, i think daddy ought to get around some.
Slodwick: you are a sick sick puppy bex.
Fox: <3, Amy
Bex: why??
Bex: *sits with Jack in the Lionelporn corner*
Jack: and you suggested seth or ryan as alternatives to whitney
Slodwick: just... no. i'm feeling the Lionel deserves nothing good vibe.
Jack: lionel is hot like a hot hot thing.
Bex: word
Caro: *agrees with slod*
Bex: i just said word. kill me now.
Caro: you're my favorite bobomonkey slod
LaT: I'm with Slod.
LaT: Lionel gets nothing.
Jack: as is john glover.
Slodwick: woot!
Caro: *has to be specific in monkey favorites*
Slodwick: i got Caro & LaT.
Slodwick: i'm happy with that.
Bex: John Glover...I'm so his bitch
LaT: Except maybe coal for Christmas and a knife in the back low about S4 from Lex.
Slodwick: mmmm knife.
Caro: hee
Caro: yes!
Slodwick: yes... kill Lionel all you want.
Slodwick: you can even have ZOMBIE!whit do it.
Caro: ack. why are there more people in my house
Caro: *weeps*
Jack: i've been pondering whether rutger hauer's morgan edge character is squicky to slash with lionel
Bex: no!
Caro: oh dude. everyone's about the ledge now
Slodwick: man.
Bex: not at all!
Slodwick: they were so slashy
Bex: they're so fucking!
Fox: *sings* ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE ZOMBIE
Caro: fox, edge could be a ZOMBIE now
Jack: you don't understand the history i have with meneer hauer
LaT: Oh, now, even I saw the Lionel/Edge.
Slodwick: he certainly looks dead, caro
LaT: And I'm really not about Lionel getting any, 'cause like I said, in LaTverse, he gets nothing.
Fox: edge?
LaT: *eg*
LaT: Morgan Edge.
Jack: the way it played out was suggestive, no question
Jack: oh, and he's alive.
Caro: of course
Caro: he and helen can be back for sweeps
LaT: I don't usually like the smushed together name thing, but I like Ledge for Lionel/Edge.
Jack: if he wasn't ok, clark would've rescued him
Slodwick: hee! ledge!
Jack: ledge! lol
Slodwick: and i'm jumping off it.
Slodwick: helen/edge = HEDGE!!
Slodwick: hehe
LaT: *snickers*
Jack: i don't see helen coming back until at least s4
Fox: I love the smushed together name thing. Because it leads to such beautiful stories.
Caro: hee
Bex: must she?
Fox: *points proudly to her own love of CLaP*
Bex: *sigh*
LaT: Oh, I think Helen will be back from February sweeps.
LaT: from = for
Caro: pregnant, LaT?
Slodwick: for her big, fiery death.
Caro: *eg*
LaT: Possibly.
Slodwick: gah!
Caro: dude. lat made me cry
Slodwick: *plugs ears*
Caro: she was all "helen could be lena's mom!"
Slodwick: la, la, la!
LaT: <== is ebil
Caro: yes.
Slodwick: you ah!
Fox: lena?
Caro: but hot.
Jack: nah, if she was preggers, she'd have been showing already
Caro: so it's okay
Bex: Noooooooooo
Caro: actually, you're much like future!lex
Bex: *protects Lena*
Bex: What did she ever do to you??
Bex: Her mother is a Countess!
Bex: Not some creept ass doctor bitch!
Bex: *flies off the handle with gay abandon*
Caro: mmm gay
LaT: Oh, no, Jack. I think the way Lex convinved Helen to go back up on the plane was some serious lovin' the night before.
Slodwick: hee
Caro: can i invite joyfulgirl in here?
LaT: Because really? That's some fierce mojo.
LaT: Of course!
Bex: LaT is evil. She's trying to make me write Helex sex.
Bex: See? She's still doing it now!
Caro: hee
Slodwick: i think i'm actually going to go, y'all... i have the urge to write, and it happens so rarely.
joyfulgirl4140 has entered the room.
LaT: I mean, she *knows* he "doesn't let things go." Yet she went back on a plane with him.
Caro: okay slodmonkey
Bex: bye slodling!
LaT: Go write, Slod!
Caro: hey joy
Joyful: *waves*
LaT: *waves to joyful*
Caro: are you writing helex sex slod?
Joyful: Hi!
Slodwick: ha!
Slodwick: and no.
Caro: *g*
LaT: *giggles*
Fox: *sniffles*
Fox: byebye slod.
Slodwick: bye! *hugs room*
Caro: *loves on slod*
LaT: Bex, come on. You know you want to!
Fox: I miss you already
Caro: bye pie
Fox: *weeps*
Slodwick: aww
Bex: E. Vil.
Caro: no no no bex has more roomies to write
Slodwick: we have NaNo to bond over fochs
Fox: we do!
Joyful: Yes! Bex has roomies to write!
Bex: I was trying to push that bunny onto *you*
Slodwick has left the room.
Caro: mm LaT shoudl write it
Bex: And you were tricksy and turned it around on me!
Jack: ...of course they had sex that night, lat, lex would want to fuck her every way possible... but he's not stupid enough to
leave her any semen.
LaT: Heee! I'm crafty that way.
Caro: see, she is like lex.
Bex: *grins*
Bex: Jack, that's what I'm saying
LaT: *g* No, Lena's mom should be the Countess. I agree.
Bex: if I was Lex, I'd want to make her come as many times as I possibly could, and *then* dump her sorry ass in the ocean
Bex: just because I *could*.
Fox: dude, at least she'd die happy
LaT: See, Bex, you've got it in you to write some Helex sex.
LaT: *nods*
Bex: grrr
Jack: it's amusing that it's practically fanon that lex is an outstanding lover.
LaT: Seriously, though, I just love the subtle hint of future!Lex that that gave us.
Fox: "practically", Jack?
Joyful: How could he not be? Just look at him.
Fox: i can't think of a single fic that doesn't make him stalliony
Bex: dude, someone should write him as being really lame in bed
Bex: because it would make me laugh
Fox: I could do that!
Bex: You should!
Fox: ...would I have to write boyparts?
Caro: yes
Fox: icky
Jack: there are several that deal with his adolesence as an unsexy freak, and at least one that posits him as never having
been with a man
LaT: Because that's what he's going to be like. Charismatic enough, charming enough, sensually appealing enough to make
people do his bidding, be willing to follow him, wander into a false sense of security if he's trying to put on a
LaT: smackdown.
Jack: just think of the penis as an enormous, malfunctioning clitoris
Fox: *dies*
Bex: *nods at LaT* He's always been sexy, but he needs to be *charming*, and a bratty playboy isn;t charming. Neither is
the weirdo who keeps getting married and/or beaten up.
Jack: it's not entirely unapt.
Fox: I always kind of assumed that his shiny shiny head distracted people, and then he hit them over the head and then
they did his bidding.
Bex: no, fox, he's got a hypnotic ass.
LaT: *snicker*
Bex: that's why he wiggles it so much.
Caro: *snickers
Caro: and the hips!
Caro: the slinky hips
Fox: So they're distracted by his head, they look down to avoid it, and BANG!
Bex: yup
Fox: Thrawl?
Bex: Thrall
Caro: what bex said
Bex: which is the same thing
Fox: Thrall. Right.
Fox: Um. I was typing British?
Bex: *rolls foxlet*
Jack: i wonder if he learned of the amazing hypnotic power of his ass by observing lionel's reactions to it
Fox: *giggles and snugs*
Bex: hee, jack
Jack: consider how often he turns his back on people
Jack: especially when those people are clark or lionel
Bex: "I'm taking the porsche away!" *wiggle* "Uh...more brandy, son?"
LaT: *laughs*
Joyful: Eeep. *bounces* If anyone needs me, I'll be over in the corner freaking out.
Bex: *laughs*
Bex: It's Jack's fault, Joy.
At which point we digressed to discuss
joyfulgirl41's fantastic new monster-sized AU story, "The Road Not Taken" which you should read the next time you have at least three hours free. Then bexless went off to sleep, and of course the topic couldn't stay dead... Fox: Look! Shiny!
Caro: ooh where
Fox: here
Fox: *points*
Caro: shiny fox ZOMBIE muppetfic?
Fox: *blinks*
Fox: ...I miss bex.
Caro: *giggles*
Fox: I have a fic that I don't recognize.
Jack: ZOMBIES make me think of the serpent and the rainbow
Fox: That's odd.
Fox: *ponders*
Fox: Jack should write ZOMBIEfic
Caro: jack should.
Fox: I bet Jack gives good ZOMBIE
Jack: SatRslash?
Jack: or other sorts of ZOMBIES?
Jack: thrillerslash?
Jack: podpeopleslash?
Caro: it was just ZOMBIES
Caro: any fandom
Jack: republicanslash?
Caro: as long as there were ZOMBIES
Caro: ...
Caro: republicanslash
Caro: okay, my brain huts
Caro: *hurts
Jack: most republicans i've met must be ZOMBIES
Caro: i'd agree
Caro: but i don't need to read about them having sex
LaT: Oh, come on! Bush/Cheney's hot and you know it!
Caro: *cries*
Fox: *eyes*
Fox: *hides behind caro*
Caro: bex was right about you
Caro: evil.
Jack: dick cheney shouldn't be allowed to be named dick, he's so unsexy
LaT: *snicker*
Jack: sometimes my spacebar works
LaT: And also an animatronic puppet, imo.
Fox: nah. Animatronic puppets are a lot more lifelike, these days
Caro: i have cake!
Jack: speaking of dicks, though?
Fox: cake!
Jack: i wish dick grayson would climb in through my window sometime.
Fox: *is always worried when "speaking of dicks..." comes up*
Caro: LOL
Caro: fox, you're punny
Fox: *blushes happily*
Jack: except i have screens and he couldn't get in. stupid building code.
Fox: *snugs caro*
Caro: aww, jack, i bet he'd bring stuff to cut the screens
Fox: he's crafty
Caro: *cuddles fox and shares cake with fox*
Jack: if only i didn't have screens on my windows, nightwing could surprise me in my bed ANY DAY NOW
Jack: lalala
Caro: yes. any day.
Caro: he could be trying ot get in right now, jack
Jack: um... i have a sexy wheelchair just like barbara, of course he'd want me?
Caro: he totally wants you
Caro: *snugs jack*
Jack: ::lives in a world where gotham is a real place and can be visited::
Fox: *eyes fic files* My Muppetfic is my biggest fic.
Fox: Almost twice as big as my next-largest.
Fox: That can't be healthy.
Caro: muppetfic rocks
Caro: you're my favorite muppet author
Fox: awwwwwww, thanks!
There then followed a long digression into Muppets, Mr Rogers and whether children's programming can, or ought to, be slashed... which I am refraining from copying here, as apparently I've been scarring people's psyches. Anyway, a couple of hours later, possibly under the lingering influence of Fox's shiny new story, I began to have this strange feeling.
Jack: hm. i think i'm kinda in the mood to write femslash.
Jack: if someone would lay the right pairing on me.
Jack: fox is corrupting me to the chick side!
Fox: *tackles jack* I love you.
Fox: A lot.
Fox: What fandom do you want?
Rana: Anamaria/Elizabeth, though you didn't hear it from me.
Jack: throw stuff out and see what sticks.
LaT: back in a bit, folks.
Rana: *waves*
ckjmt has left the room.
J: bye LaT
Jack: ok lat
Jack: i don't know who anamaria or elizabeth are
Fox: *thinks* Faith/Lilah. Faith/Buffy.
Fox: Faith/crossover.
Fox: Torrance/Missy.
Rana: Have you seen PotC yet, Jack?
Fox: Jen/Audrey.
Jack: aye, rana. y'arrr.
Mel: anamaria/elizabeth!
Jack: hm. i think i could do faith/buffy, matybe.
Mel: there should be more
Rana: The lead woman was Elizabeth. The pirate chick whose boat Jack lost was Anamaria.
Jack: ohhhhh.
Rana: Amanda/Lucy.
Mel: it would be so great!
Mel: because Elizabeth is obviously a pirate, and Will is not.
Mel: also, hot lesbian pirate sex
J: yea, i agree
Jack: i did see it, but many moons ago. refresher would be required before i could write those two, alas
mignonne41 has entered the room.
J: hey molly
Jack: molly!
Molly: hey, lovely people
Fox: Why have I not updated my site in a long time? WHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYYYY?
Rana: I haven't either, Foxlet. *soothes the Foxlet*
Fox: I'm going to have to HTML, like, thirty fics.
Fox: And then I'm going to weep.
Jack: ik still haven't made my site.
Rana: This is why I haven't updated, Fox. That and finding good backgrounds can be a bitch.
Rana: Jack, I would love to see what you do with Anamaria/Elizabeth.
Fox: *giggles* I'ev been going through my LJ and just opening every entry entitled "ficwhore"
Jack: yeah, i should get myself a copy.
Rana: Or Amanda/Lucy, because Lucy needs love too.
Jack: whoa.
MysteryBethy has left the room.
Jack: hrmmm. ::goes to look for buffy episode guide page::
Rana: What was the whoa?
Jack: that was 'whoa, amanda/lucy'
Rana: Ah.
Rana: I always thought they were a natural.
Caro: justice league!
Caro: lex!
Jack: waaah! my stupid cable company STILL won't give us cartoon network.
Caro: evil.
Jack: very.
Caro: *pets jack*
Jack: ::purrs::
Rana: How can you live?
Rana: *hugs Cartoon Network close*
Rana: Get a dish.
Jack: i'm considering the dish.
Rana: I love my dish. It gives me all kinds of goodies.
Rana: And I'm paying less than basic cable costs around here.
Jack: but as i have only 1 tv, and cannot afford both cableand dish, 'twould cause many taping difficulties.
Rana: I tape from the dish, I just haven't figured out how to tape one thing and watch another.
Jack: you can't with dish
Rana: Fortunately, I'm not much of a TV watcher, so this hasn't been too problematic.
Fox: *giggles* while searching for my fic, I keep finding things from this summer that make me want to work again
Jack: i'm getting sleepy. i'm going to go either take a nap or sleep through till morning.
Caro: aww
Fox: *sniffles*
Fox: (I miss you already
Rana: You need to dream the femslash. *nods wisely*
Jack: mmm, angsty femslashy dreams
Jack: ok, later peeps
Fox: Mmmmm. Yes. Dream pretty femslashy dreams
Caro: bye jack
Fox: *kisses jack*
Fox: byebye
Of course, that's not what I dreamed about. What did I dream about? Bloody ZOMBIEfic. And what did I start writing when I got up this morning? A ZOMBIE story!
Crack, I tell you.