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I'm not sure why this even needs to be said. And it's not just a matter of newcomers to slash fandom being unaware of Minotaur's sex tips for slash writers. The prime rules of writing are "show, don't tell" and "write what you know," right?
So if you're going to write a full-blown, graphic m/m sex scene, please do a bare minimum of research, and use common sense. Have you ever performed analingus? (Don't look at me like that; everybody has one, as the saying goes.) Guess what, you don't have to have actually done it to realise that if you taste anything down there, you hope it's freshly-washed skin.
You really, truly, honestly do not have to include penetrative anal sex in your slash fiction. Write what you know comes into play here; everybody has hands and mouths, too. And if you think buggery is so bloody cool and want to write about it, then take one for the team so you can have half a clue what it's like.
I realise there are lots of slash writers who are not going to care for those choices. Hey, I'm not holding a gun to anybody's head, this is just an exasperated rant. (You never know until you try it, though...) But here are some tips for those who insist on writing what they don't know:
The burn isa myth overused and cliched to the point that it's lost descriptive meaning. Apparently I just have an odd arse.
Stretching is not strictly necessary. (Looked in the toilet lately?)
Lube of some kind is always necessary, or it's uncomfortable for both of them.
If the sphincter spasms and he pushes in anyway, there's pain if you're lucky and tearing if you're not. Trust me, tearing is not sexy or fun or just part of anal sex.
The same laws of anatomy and physics that apply to m/f sex apply to m/m sex too.
So if you're going to write a full-blown, graphic m/m sex scene, please do a bare minimum of research, and use common sense. Have you ever performed analingus? (Don't look at me like that; everybody has one, as the saying goes.) Guess what, you don't have to have actually done it to realise that if you taste anything down there, you hope it's freshly-washed skin.
You really, truly, honestly do not have to include penetrative anal sex in your slash fiction. Write what you know comes into play here; everybody has hands and mouths, too. And if you think buggery is so bloody cool and want to write about it, then take one for the team so you can have half a clue what it's like.
I realise there are lots of slash writers who are not going to care for those choices. Hey, I'm not holding a gun to anybody's head, this is just an exasperated rant. (You never know until you try it, though...) But here are some tips for those who insist on writing what they don't know:
The burn is
Stretching is not strictly necessary. (Looked in the toilet lately?)
Lube of some kind is always necessary, or it's uncomfortable for both of them.
If the sphincter spasms and he pushes in anyway, there's pain if you're lucky and tearing if you're not. Trust me, tearing is not sexy or fun or just part of anal sex.
The same laws of anatomy and physics that apply to m/f sex apply to m/m sex too.
more on buggery....
Pet peeve of mine is two men having anal sex in a position only a man fucking a women vaginally could perform.
Stretching is fun... and maybe some write it as what it is/can be - a sort of foreplay. Not necessary though.. especially in a down and dirty scene. I mean, Uber-top X wanting uber-bottom Z to really feel abused, and he wiggles his fingers around and asks, 'is this all right, my sweet angel' first? one way to ruin a scene if you ask me... not that anyone did (ask me), but I thought I'd share anyway :)
And as for tearing? Ouch. A friend was incapacitated for months due to severe tearing. I remember his pain just trying to piss, let alone anything else.....
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And my pet peeve is having one guy just ram it the root in the other guy's virgin bum. All I can think is: ow ow. ow ow ow. ow.
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No, tell us how you really feel! Don't hold back. Just kidding. I agree with you, and on a slight tangent, any guy wanting his girlfriend to try it should have something shoved up his ass first. Just so he knows.
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Snerk! ::hugs adellyna::
Well, I'm of the opinion every man needs something poked in his bum, since half or better don't have any inkling what they're missing.
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A short-stroked, tight, almost dry half-fuck can be very hot but it's not going to be some slow, gentle romantic thing. It's going to include a little pain, a little discomfort
Mmnngh. One little sentence just should not be that hot, damn all. I may just have to write such a scene now. Or you could. Or we both could. Or... here, Kitty, Kitty...
I hate the feeling that the writer is just reciting what they're read elsewhere
That was the other thing that bothered me about 98% of references to post-coital anorectal discomfort.
And my pet peeve is having one guy just ram it the root in the other guy's virgin bum.
It was pretty easy going for me my first time; he didn't ram it in, but he prolly could've. See my above comments re my weird arse.
Coffee. On. My. Monitor.
Go Team Jack!
Well, I'm of the opinion every man needs something poked in his bum, since half or better don't have any inkling what they're missing.
I'm so very tempted to start using this as a new signature for one of my email accounts...
Other fluids. On. My. Monitor.
I'm so very tempted to start using this as a new signature for one of my email accounts...
Be my guest, hon. Snark is meant to be shared.
Re: more on buggery....
Stretching is fun... and maybe some write it as what it is/can be - a sort of foreplay.
Assplay is good, definitely, but I see it so often as just 'well, we have to do this to get you ready' -- 'no, I can't wait, I don't care if it hurts' and my eyes roll. Now if it's treated as foreplay, or better, as an end in itself (because not everything leads to buggery, people!), I'm a happy Jack.
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Re: more on buggery....
Oh, Jack, I so agree. I do write buggery quite often, but certainly not always. The other aspects of sex can be so much more erotic to write - and read!
Actually, I just had a flash of a video scene I have where a guy gets shaved from head to toe... I wonder if Clark at college would go wild and have his head shaved? Lex could shave everything else too. All done so Lex can feel what it's like for Clark to lick *Lex's* body.... hmmm... never going to write it, but just, hmmmm....
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evil psychic Kitty!
Damnit, Kitty, you're going to spoiler my WIP shaving fic. How'd you ever know I was writing almost precisely that scenario?
Re: evil psychic Kitty!
And shaving? Well, darling, it is a very kinky little pasttime and let's be honest, I think Lex would think kink at every given opportunity. Guess I think you would too
when Lex gets to shaving Clark's ass crack, now that would be interesting...
more TMI
mmngh
You seem rather interested in the whole shaving thing, and I've been blocked on the story in question... wanna co?
Re: more TMI