(no subject)

[buggery]

I'm not sure why this even needs to be said. And it's not just a matter of newcomers to slash fandom being unaware of Minotaur's sex tips for slash writers. The prime rules of writing are "show, don't tell" and "write what you know," right?

So if you're going to write a full-blown, graphic m/m sex scene, please do a bare minimum of research, and use common sense. Have you ever performed analingus? (Don't look at me like that; everybody has one, as the saying goes.) Guess what, you don't have to have actually done it to realise that if you taste anything down there, you hope it's freshly-washed skin.

You really, truly, honestly do not have to include penetrative anal sex in your slash fiction. Write what you know comes into play here; everybody has hands and mouths, too. And if you think buggery is so bloody cool and want to write about it, then take one for the team so you can have half a clue what it's like.

I realise there are lots of slash writers who are not going to care for those choices. Hey, I'm not holding a gun to anybody's head, this is just an exasperated rant. (You never know until you try it, though...) But here are some tips for those who insist on writing what they don't know:

The burn is a myth overused and cliched to the point that it's lost descriptive meaning. Apparently I just have an odd arse.

Stretching is not strictly necessary. (Looked in the toilet lately?)

Lube of some kind is always necessary, or it's uncomfortable for both of them.

If the sphincter spasms and he pushes in anyway, there's pain if you're lucky and tearing if you're not. Trust me, tearing is not sexy or fun or just part of anal sex.

The same laws of anatomy and physics that apply to m/f sex apply to m/m sex too.

Comments

[spike21.livejournal.com]

Well, I agree with the sentiment, but YMMV jack. I love and have anal sex and I don't agree with all of these (I get the burn too. I lurrrrve the burn). What I do agree with is that if you're going to have your guys having sex without lube you have to sell me on the reality of it. A short-stroked, tight, almost dry half-fuck can be very hot but it's not going to be some slow, gentle romantic thing. It's going to include a little pain, a little discomfort, not necessarily the worst thing in the world but you have to sell me on the characters getting off on the specific thing. So, yeah, I hate the feeling that the writer is just reciting what they're read elsewhere and haven't given any thought to the reality, whether they've experienced it or not.

And my pet peeve is having one guy just ram it the root in the other guy's virgin bum. All I can think is: ow ow. ow ow ow. ow.

[buggery.livejournal.com]

All right, I bow before majority rule and concede my arse is just strange. (Though in a good way.)

A short-stroked, tight, almost dry half-fuck can be very hot but it's not going to be some slow, gentle romantic thing. It's going to include a little pain, a little discomfort

Mmnngh. One little sentence just should not be that hot, damn all. I may just have to write such a scene now. Or you could. Or we both could. Or... here, Kitty, Kitty...

I hate the feeling that the writer is just reciting what they're read elsewhere

That was the other thing that bothered me about 98% of references to post-coital anorectal discomfort.

And my pet peeve is having one guy just ram it the root in the other guy's virgin bum.

It was pretty easy going for me my first time; he didn't ram it in, but he prolly could've. See my above comments re my weird arse.

[kittyfisher.livejournal.com]

first time I thought I was going to be ripped to shreds - i was in agony, though it eased pretty quick. Maybe i have a tight ass () but I like it taken s.l.o.w to begin with - though size IS an issue here, and angle. Ditto with dildos, I've one - bought in the tackiest shop on Hollywood Boulevard - which is perfect, and I'll never be able to replace it so it is actually one of my most prized possessions. TMI?? :+)

[buggery.livejournal.com]

I'm with Lex: no such thing as TMI. So what colour is your prized dildo? Does it fit a harness?

more TMI

[kittyfisher.livejournal.com]

yes, it fits a harness - the harness in question came from Shhh! a women only sex shop in London and is A1 suberbomundo. The darling dildo is pale pink... ahhhh, sweet! it also has a twist in the stem. Oh, yes....

Re: more TMI

[buggery.livejournal.com]

It really has been too long since I've visited the Isles... er, I mean, that sounds very nice, Kitty. I'm sure you get a lot of enjoyment out of it.