(no subject)

[buggery]

I'm not sure why this even needs to be said. And it's not just a matter of newcomers to slash fandom being unaware of Minotaur's sex tips for slash writers. The prime rules of writing are "show, don't tell" and "write what you know," right?

So if you're going to write a full-blown, graphic m/m sex scene, please do a bare minimum of research, and use common sense. Have you ever performed analingus? (Don't look at me like that; everybody has one, as the saying goes.) Guess what, you don't have to have actually done it to realise that if you taste anything down there, you hope it's freshly-washed skin.

You really, truly, honestly do not have to include penetrative anal sex in your slash fiction. Write what you know comes into play here; everybody has hands and mouths, too. And if you think buggery is so bloody cool and want to write about it, then take one for the team so you can have half a clue what it's like.

I realise there are lots of slash writers who are not going to care for those choices. Hey, I'm not holding a gun to anybody's head, this is just an exasperated rant. (You never know until you try it, though...) But here are some tips for those who insist on writing what they don't know:

The burn is a myth overused and cliched to the point that it's lost descriptive meaning. Apparently I just have an odd arse.

Stretching is not strictly necessary. (Looked in the toilet lately?)

Lube of some kind is always necessary, or it's uncomfortable for both of them.

If the sphincter spasms and he pushes in anyway, there's pain if you're lucky and tearing if you're not. Trust me, tearing is not sexy or fun or just part of anal sex.

The same laws of anatomy and physics that apply to m/f sex apply to m/m sex too.

Comments

more on buggery....

[kittyfisher.livejournal.com]

Lovely rant! and one I agree with totally... though I think the term 'burn' is vaguely applicable (well, first time, the feeling once things got going was sort of close to that for me...)

Pet peeve of mine is two men having anal sex in a position only a man fucking a women vaginally could perform.

Stretching is fun... and maybe some write it as what it is/can be - a sort of foreplay. Not necessary though.. especially in a down and dirty scene. I mean, Uber-top X wanting uber-bottom Z to really feel abused, and he wiggles his fingers around and asks, 'is this all right, my sweet angel' first? one way to ruin a scene if you ask me... not that anyone did (ask me), but I thought I'd share anyway :)

And as for tearing? Ouch. A friend was incapacitated for months due to severe tearing. I remember his pain just trying to piss, let alone anything else.....

[spike21.livejournal.com]

Well, I agree with the sentiment, but YMMV jack. I love and have anal sex and I don't agree with all of these (I get the burn too. I lurrrrve the burn). What I do agree with is that if you're going to have your guys having sex without lube you have to sell me on the reality of it. A short-stroked, tight, almost dry half-fuck can be very hot but it's not going to be some slow, gentle romantic thing. It's going to include a little pain, a little discomfort, not necessarily the worst thing in the world but you have to sell me on the characters getting off on the specific thing. So, yeah, I hate the feeling that the writer is just reciting what they're read elsewhere and haven't given any thought to the reality, whether they've experienced it or not.

And my pet peeve is having one guy just ram it the root in the other guy's virgin bum. All I can think is: ow ow. ow ow ow. ow.

[adellyna.livejournal.com]

And if you think buggery is so bloody cool and want to write about it, then take one for the team so you can have half a clue what it's like.

No, tell us how you really feel! Don't hold back. Just kidding. I agree with you, and on a slight tangent, any guy wanting his girlfriend to try it should have something shoved up his ass first. Just so he knows.