(no subject)

[buggery]

I'm not sure why this even needs to be said. And it's not just a matter of newcomers to slash fandom being unaware of Minotaur's sex tips for slash writers. The prime rules of writing are "show, don't tell" and "write what you know," right?

So if you're going to write a full-blown, graphic m/m sex scene, please do a bare minimum of research, and use common sense. Have you ever performed analingus? (Don't look at me like that; everybody has one, as the saying goes.) Guess what, you don't have to have actually done it to realise that if you taste anything down there, you hope it's freshly-washed skin.

You really, truly, honestly do not have to include penetrative anal sex in your slash fiction. Write what you know comes into play here; everybody has hands and mouths, too. And if you think buggery is so bloody cool and want to write about it, then take one for the team so you can have half a clue what it's like.

I realise there are lots of slash writers who are not going to care for those choices. Hey, I'm not holding a gun to anybody's head, this is just an exasperated rant. (You never know until you try it, though...) But here are some tips for those who insist on writing what they don't know:

The burn is a myth overused and cliched to the point that it's lost descriptive meaning. Apparently I just have an odd arse.

Stretching is not strictly necessary. (Looked in the toilet lately?)

Lube of some kind is always necessary, or it's uncomfortable for both of them.

If the sphincter spasms and he pushes in anyway, there's pain if you're lucky and tearing if you're not. Trust me, tearing is not sexy or fun or just part of anal sex.

The same laws of anatomy and physics that apply to m/f sex apply to m/m sex too.

Comments

[adellyna.livejournal.com]

And if you think buggery is so bloody cool and want to write about it, then take one for the team so you can have half a clue what it's like.

No, tell us how you really feel! Don't hold back. Just kidding. I agree with you, and on a slight tangent, any guy wanting his girlfriend to try it should have something shoved up his ass first. Just so he knows.

[buggery.livejournal.com]

No, tell us how you really feel!

Snerk! ::hugs adellyna::

Well, I'm of the opinion every man needs something poked in his bum, since half or better don't have any inkling what they're missing.

Coffee. On. My. Monitor.

[pandarus.livejournal.com]

And if you think buggery is so bloody cool and want to write about it, then take one for the team so you can have half a clue what it's like.

Go Team Jack!

Well, I'm of the opinion every man needs something poked in his bum, since half or better don't have any inkling what they're missing.

I'm so very tempted to start using this as a new signature for one of my email accounts...

Other fluids. On. My. Monitor.

[buggery.livejournal.com]

So you're on my team?

I'm so very tempted to start using this as a new signature for one of my email accounts...

Be my guest, hon. Snark is meant to be shared.