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buggerySo, the other night, Livia, Sarah and I were hanging round #deliciouscrack after Te went to bed.
[03:09] Livia cereta's five things that never happened to dick grayson?
[03:09] Livia ALL GEN
[03:13] Jack well, but that middle one falls into the so-much-subtext-it-reads-like-porn category, as i recall.
[03:14] Livia the dick-raised-by-catwoman one?
[03:14] Livia I *remembered* it as being a lot sexier than it was.
[03:15] Livia but actually, it's pretty much gen with a reference to batman/catwoman
[03:18] Sarah hee hee hee.
[03:18] Sarah dick would have SO MUCH SEX WITH EVERYONE.
[03:18] Livia EXACTLY.
[03:22] Jack i think the bruce/dick subtext is there. it's subtle, but it's in the story, noy only in our minds.
[03:27] Livia I just think that if Dick was really raised by Selina, we'd have to call him Pornwing.
[03:30] Jack hm. i don't know.
[03:31] Jack i mean, she's not the prude bruce makes himself into, but neither is she, i think, even as, er, enthusuastically sex-positive as, say, roy or grace.
[03:32] Livia yeah, but i'd say she's mildly sex-positive-- she at least wouldn't give dick all the hangups bruce has given him.
[03:32] Livia like, i bet he'd be a lot more touchy feely.
[03:32] Jack yeah.
[03:33] Livia also, she wouldn't have let him get away with that terrible original nightwing costume. :)
[03:33] Livia or, who knows? it might have been purple.
[03:33] Jack but really, dick could've been raised in a monastery and turned out with fewer hangups about sex.
[03:33] Livia laughs
[03:33] Livia Brother Pornwing!
[03:34] Jack is it just me, or is the image of dick in brown friar's robes, tied with cord, desperately sexy?
[03:35] Livia hmm. can he go to connor's ashram?
[03:35] Jack sandals on his feet, and his hood up just enough to shadow his eyes...
[03:35] Livia ok, sandals = sexy
[03:35] Jack well, that's a different sort of monastery.
[03:35] Jack i'm not sure saffron is dick's colour.
[03:36] Livia I think they occasionally get confused even in the comics about what kind of monk Connor is.
[03:36] Sarah I doubt they have a good clear idea. ;)
[03:36] Livia they have him praying "Dear Father" in some comic or another that I have.
[03:36] Jack and he'd just smile all the time. keep his hood up but his grin would always be peeking out.
[03:36] Livia me: Buddhist! He's Buddhist!
[03:36] Livia awwwwww
[03:37] Jack yeah, but most people have no clear idea of what buddhist means.
[03:37] Livia yeah, you should hear whatserface who writes all the Tim Bayliss fic and actually is Buddhist.
[03:37] Livia what's her name?
[03:39] Jack he'd drive the abbot to distraction, smiling through prayers and devotions and all whatnot. 'brother richard, these are solemn duties!' 'but father, when i think of god's love, i can't help but be filled with joy!'
[03:39] Jack hm. i'm perving on monks now. i blame landevennec.
[03:40] Jack re the buddhist writer, i have no clue.
[03:40] Livia Now I'm imagining Dick having a relationship with God similar to his current relationship with Bruce.
[03:40] theJack DIES.
[03:40] Livia "La la la, everything's cool, loving all creatures great and small..." *BBBZZZZAAAPP*
[03:40] Livia Dick: "WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN MEEEEEE"
[03:40] Livia God: "..... Okay, I'm better now."
[03:40] Livia Dick: "I accept your total lack of apology."
[03:41] Sarah AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
[03:41] Livia God: "OK. By the way, about the flagellation... you don't really need to... what I'm saying is..."
[03:41] Sarah 'but it makes me feel pretty!'
[03:41] Livia Dick: "You don't like the flagellation?" *SNIFFLE*
[03:41] Livia *beehee*
[03:45] Jack bahahaha GUH.
[03:45] Jack oh, man
[03:46] Jack dick self-flagellating...
[03:49] Jack now i'm picturing him in his cell with his robes hitched up... 'thank you, god, for the pleasure of touching myself...'
[03:49] Livia God: "NO PROBLEM."
[03:52] Jack god would emjoy the show, i think.
[03:53] Livia Now I want Dick-with-wings again.
[03:54] Jack ooh.
[03:54] Jack dick as an angel?
[03:54] Livia mmm. or maybe just with wings, you know, wingfic.
[03:55] Livia big black fluttery wings. and long bishie hair. *grins*
[03:55] Jack dark wings. like a bird's, with feathers, but dark to patch his hair.
[03:55] Livia Damn, I should put that in the scenario generator. "..... grows a pair of wings."
[03:55] Jack er, MATCH his hair.
[03:55] Livia yeah, feathery and soft.
[03:55] Jack i can type, honest
[03:55] Sarah *considers*
[03:55] Livia and always twitching.
[03:55] Sarah Dick should really be a temple prostitute.
[03:55] Jack and a red breastplate.
[03:55] Livia Ooooooooo.
[03:55] Jack bahahaheeeee!
[03:56] Livia to the great scary bat god?
[03:56] Sarah exactly!
[03:56] Sarah ritual sex to please the scary bat god.
[03:56] Jack that would be disturbing, but in the good way.
[03:56] Livia sounds good to me.
[03:57] Livia because the scary bat god protects the kingdom from monsters, so he must be placated with beautiful, lithe virgins.
[03:57] Livia or, when they can't find any virgins, dick.
[03:58] Jack well, you know, i'm picturing wee orphaned dick being sold to the temple.
[03:58] Livia awwww.
[03:59] Livia and growing up being taught to tumble and dance and play the lyre and serve wine, like in The Persian Boy
[03:59] Jack and the big grim brooding priest looking at him and deciding, yes, this one will do.
[03:59] Livia I just have this image in my head of wee!dick standing front of the big scary obsidian idol.
[03:59] Livia "I love you scary bat god!!"
[04:00] Livia and giving its feet a big hug,
[04:00] Livia and then running away.
[04:00] Livia priest: "Do not hug Scary Bat God!!!"
[04:00] Jack bwee!
[04:00] Jack well. the priest is bruce.
[04:01] Jack and tolerant of dick's exuberance.
[04:01] Livia does he become the human incarnation of scary bat god once a year?
[04:01] Livia on, say, winter solstice?
[04:01] Jack indulgent, even.
[04:02] Livia well, he might *secretly* think it's cute. :)
[04:02] Jack at least once a year. better, all the 'high festivals'.
[04:02] Livia yeah, poor dick. he'd never last for a whole year.
[04:04] Sarah *laughs and laughs*
[04:04] Livia he would hang around bruce's quarters... "You know, the harvest is looking kind of scrawny.... I thinnk we might need to placate the bat god."
[04:04] Livia "no!!! three more weeks!"
[04:04] Sarah he would get caught using Scary Bat God as a launching pad for somersaults.
[04:04] Livia Awwwwwwww
[04:05] Jack by the time he was 14 or 15, he's be batting his eyelashes coquettishly at the priest from every corner of the temple.
[04:05] Jack peeking out from behind pillars.
[04:05] Livia wearing last year's tunic, which is kinda short on him
[04:05] Livia using kohl on his eyes.
[04:05] Jack mmmmmm
[04:06] Livia bruce: "you do realize that if you're de-virginized before your time, we'll all go to scary bat god hell."
[04:06] Jack lounging beside the well, eating fruit.
[04:06] Livia dick: *blinks eyelashes prettily*
[04:06] Livia "oh, I don't believe that. scary bat god is a god of love and compassion, really."
[04:06] Livia "I think he just wants us to be happy."
[04:07] Livia bruce: *vein in forehead twitches*
[04:07] Jack brucepriest: *grim*
[04:07] Livia "HE GUARDS THE GATES OF HELL"
[04:07] Livia "That doesn't mean he doesn't love me!"
[04:07] Livia awww.
[04:07] Jack 'i can FEEL how much he loves me...'
[04:07] Livia *snicker*
[04:07] Jack 'at every festival...'
[04:07] Livia He would be sooooo pretty.
[04:08] Jack obscenely pretty.
[04:08] Jack .....oh.
[04:08] Livia with bangles on his wrists and ankles, and a little circlet.
[04:08] Sarah hee hee hee.
[04:08] Sarah "I'll show you how much he loves you...when you're sixteen."
[04:09] Livia mmmsigh
[04:09] Livia and Dick would be all jealous of the current bat-god-favorite.... who would that be?
[04:09] Jack and eventually he would grow up, and become an acolyte, and the temple would need a new hetaiera. (am i spelling that right?)
[04:09] Jack jason. tim.
[04:09] Livia hetareia ?
[04:09] Jack jason is even a greek name.
[04:10] Sarah hetareia.
[04:10] Sarah I think.
[04:10] Jack temple prostitute works.
[04:10] Livia ooooh, you know what else would be cool?
[04:10] Jack umm...
[04:10] Sarah I hope someone is logging this for te.
[04:10] Jack alfred?
[04:10] Livia if weapons training was part of being the bat god temple prostitute.
[04:10] Jack i'm logging.
[04:10] Livia well, te's still HERE, so she'll see it eventually.
[04:10] Sarah for the sexy weapons rituals?
[04:10] Livia you know, nothing major, but knowing how to wave a sword around in a pretty manner.
[04:10] Sarah hetairos.
[04:10] Jack ooh.
[04:10] Livia sais, maybe, or a staff.
[04:12] Livia so bruce-priest has to teach him that.
[04:12] Jack heh. heheh. and one season a travelling monk and his acolyte, both dedicated to the archer god, would come to the city, and the temple would offer its hospitality...
[04:12] Livia YEE HEE HEE HEE
[04:12] Jack and they would all have SO MUCH SEX
[04:12] Livia Oh, man.
[04:12] Livia Roy.
[04:12] Jack or just spar a lot.
[04:13] Jack nude wrestling, sex, same thing.
[04:13] Livia Roy would be one of those SLUTTY temple prostitutes, like, of fertility (arrow = shaft = fertility god, spraying arrows everywhere)
[04:13] Livia who just has to have sex with LOTS OF PEOPLE ALL THE TIME.
[04:13] Livia Dick: "I only have sex with god!"
[04:13] Livia Roy: "......what kind of lame religion is THAT??"
[04:13] Jack HEE
[04:13] Livia Dick: *points* "that's the guy who gets to be god."
[04:13] Livia Roy: ".... yeah, ok."
[04:14] Jack that would be dick's line right up until roy tumbled him.
[04:14] Livia no! he's saving himself!
[04:14] Livia well, maybe they could get to, like, third base.
[04:14] Jack because much as he'd want to be with god/priest/bruce, he still has teen hormones.
[04:14] Livia yeah, I can totally see ollie crisscrossing the land, leaving bastards everywhere.
[04:15] Livia wait, that's canon ollie!
[04:15] Livia Man. Now I'm seeing all these temple babies getting together and forming the Temple Baby Titans.
[04:16] Sarah temple prostitutes, they usually *do* have lots of sex.
[04:16] Jack and ordinarily bruce's presence would serve to protect dick's er, 'virtue,' but roy keeps humping against bruce and trying to fondle him so he makes himself scarce.
[04:16] Sarah bruce just gets to devirginize him.
[04:16] Livia Donna, the virgin-huntress-priestess! Roy, the ho! Dick, the hellgod's favorite!
[04:16] Sarah after that, it's open season!
[04:16] Livia garth, uh, fish cracker, whatever.
[04:16] Sarah awww.
[04:16] Livia wally! kind of dim, but one of those hermes-type gods.
[04:16] Jack heyyy.
[04:16] Livia and together?
[04:16] Livia they fight crime!
[04:17] Jack mercury's the messenger god.
[04:17] Livia right.
[04:17] Sarah there are shapeshifter gods, too.
[04:17] Livia hence jay garrick's sparkly hat.
[04:17] Sarah there was a guy hercules fought.
[04:17] Jack so wally would always be running to new temples in new cites.
[04:17] Sarah one of his labors.
[04:17] Livia what would be even better is if the original JLA *are* actually the gods. diana, arthur, barry, etc.
[04:17] Jack delivering news and getting it on with whoever was in THAT temple.
[04:18] Sarah darn it. I am one of only two seeds offering up Fugitive Alien. *is reluctant to drp out now*
[04:18] Jack well, but bruce is that generation.
[04:18] Jack so the jsa would be the gods.
[04:18] Livia yeah, and he *is* the hellgod. for this generation.
[04:18] Livia hmmmmm
[04:18] Livia the others just don't have human incarnations like he does, maybe.
[04:19] Jack i think maybe we shouldn't try too hard to make this make sense.
[04:19] Jack porn! shiny!
[04:19] Livia grins
[04:19] Livia donna: "I'm not allowed to take part in the sacred mysteries."
[04:19] Livia roy and dick: "Awwwwww"
[04:20] Livia donna: "but I'm allowed to WATCH. So please. Feel free."
[04:20] Livia mm. anyway.
[04:20] Livia eventually dick would get too old, and he would be sent away
[04:20] Livia and he would be all sad, and jason would be the new temple boy.
[04:21] Livia but then terrible things would happen in the land, after jason got killed, and the new one, tim, would run away and find dick.
[04:21] Livia "you have to come back and be the temple boy again!"
[04:21] Livia "but I'm too old, he doesn't love me any moooore"
[04:21] Livia "well, he doesn't want me! and he didn't want jason! he LOVES YOU!"
[04:22] Livia so dick would come back, and become the temple priest, and have sex with temple boy tim, and also with bruce on the side.
[04:22] Livia the end.
[04:22] Livia tim would be a really grim temple boy. ^_^
[04:22] Jack yay!
[04:22] Sarah he'd be too theoretical about it.
[04:22] Livia "MUST.... GUARD... HELL..... and sometimes have gay sex."
[04:22] Jack heh. tim would do it out of DUTY.
[04:23] Livia See, he'd say things like "The harvest looks bad! Gay sex right now!"
[04:23] Livia and he really would mean it because of the *harvest*.
[04:23] Jack grim, dutiful orgasms.
[04:23] Sarah just to save the harvest!
[04:23] Livia nods, laughing
[04:23] Sarah exactly!
[04:23] Livia but then he'd meet kon-the-godling who would cheer him up.
[04:23] Livia kon would be like hercules, big and dumb and constantly getting in trouble.
[04:24] Jack and dick would be all, you're so grim, like bruce, but also so lithe and pretty. oh. i've soiled my robes.
[04:24] Livia snerfs
[04:24] theJack dies a thousand times.
[04:24] Jack kon. KON.
[04:24] Jack he BELONGS in this story so much.
[04:24] Livia He'd walk into the tavern... "BEHOLD! I AM KON, SON OF KAL-EL! Wenches, form a line to the left."
[04:24] Livia Wenches: Yay!
[04:25] Livia "please feel free to bask in my glory. no, go ahead, bask."
[04:25] Jack and then he'd see tim, and be smitten.
[04:25] Livia awww
[04:25] Livia and tim would be like, right, "no! I am only for the hellgod."
[04:25] Sarah "stableboys, form a line to the right!"
[04:25] Jack hey. who's that grim boy who seems un-awed by my might and divinity?
[04:26] Livia right. what's a godling when you've been with a god?
[04:27] Jack hee!
[04:28] Jack and then tim would discover that bruce has been dallying in secret with the sun god, kal-el-pollo, for years...
[04:29] Livia kal-el-pollo. sounds like he's the god of... chicken?
[04:29] Livia well, all ancient gods are hos.
[04:30] Livia and then, let's see.
[04:30] Livia there would be some dark danger rising in the mountains to the north!
[04:31] Livia and dick would say, "look, I spoke to the hellgod last night, tim, and he wants you to have sex with kon-el."
[04:31] Livia "there's a mystical... force... convergence... thing.... er.... right. anyway, you guys need to go off, fight the monster, oh, and do the nasty a lot."
[04:31] Jack bahahaha
[04:32] Livia tim: *grim*
[04:32] Livia "okay. for the safety of our kingdom, and to honor our god."
[04:32] Livia dick: ".....and.... and also 'cause he's cute, right?"
[04:32] Livia "....hadn't noticed."
[04:32] Livia Tim: *polishes sword intensely*
[04:33] Sarah "but first kon must be ritually initiated into *our* temple."
[04:33] Livia yay!
[04:33] Sarah which means...sex with the temple priest!
[04:33] Sarah after the lambs have had their throats cut, of course.
[04:33] Livia kon: woot!
[04:33] Livia awww.
[04:33] Sarah tim: hey!
[04:34] Livia better not let Bart see that part.
[04:34] Sarah dick (reprovingly): jealousy is a sin.
[04:35] Livia tim: "I just don't think he's WORTHY. He's dumb... and a braggart... and ok, he has the finest ass I've seen outside this temple, and sparkly blue eyes, and the way he thrusts his cock out makes me kinda tingly, but... uh... uh...."
[04:35] Livia dick: "initiation it is! go get oiled up and wait for us in the altar room."
[04:35] Livia tim: *rassa frassa*
[04:36] Sarah 'outside this temple.' tim shows the proper respect!
[04:36] Livia he has priorities!
[04:36] Sarah bruce (walks in from his nearby hut): dick, are you 'initiating' people with permission again?
[04:36] Livia hm. and if selina were in this story, she'd be the head of the secular prostitutes' guild.
[04:36] Sarah without, I mean.
[04:36] Livia *snicker*
[04:36] Livia dick: "god is love?"
[04:36] Sarah dick: mmmmmmmaybe?
[04:36] Livia hee hee
[04:37] Livia "I love you cold unfeeling bat god arm!"
[04:37] Sarah of course, selina is always honing (almost wrote hoing) her skills against her competitor's!
[04:37] Livia and tim would have to drag kon out of selina's bed in order to get him to the temple.
[04:37] Livia selina: "oh, I don't think he's got much left for *you* boys...."
[04:38] Livia kon: "yes I do!" *sproing*
[04:38] Sarah "but--but--that was the best sweet lovin' I've ever had!"
[04:38] Livia awwww
[04:38] Sarah tim: "you have NO IDEA what's in store for you!"
[04:38] Sarah "once you go dick, you never go chick!"
[04:38] Livia tim: "we don't just have sex for raw, animal pleasure! we do it for SERVICE AND DUTY!"
[04:38] Livia *laughing*
[04:39] Livia Kon: "That's great, I just remembered I left my horse untied over there, uh...."
[04:39] Jack grace should be in this story.
[04:39] Livia tim: *drags*
[04:39] Jack making like xena.
[04:39] Livia she can be a barbarian princess-- yes!
[04:39] Livia and anissa is, of course, the daughter of the lightning-and-thunder god.
[04:39] Sarah dick: tim, I have to tell you something. the third time I nail you every night? that's just for raw animal pleasure.
[04:39] Jack with a little blond chick who tags along with her everywhere, um, 'chronicling' their 'adventures'
[04:39] Livia and maybe-- AHAHAHAHAH AWWWWWW
[04:40] Livia anissa can be the blond chick.
[04:40] Jack of course!
[04:40] Livia snickers at sarah
[04:40] Jack tim decides he can live with that.
[04:40] Livia and they would all meet up on their way out to fight the evil bad.
[04:40] Livia tim and dick and kon and grace and anissa.
[04:41] Livia and possibly selina for some reason. maybe she's their cover for travelling through enemy country.
[04:41] Livia "oh, officer, you don't want to search my cart. it's just full of boy-whores."
[04:41] Livia (later, after they all got arrested)
[04:42] Livia dick: "oh, GREAT PLAN. 'My cart is full of boy-whores!'"
[04:42] Livia kon: "what are you complaining about? that was fun."
[04:42] Livia anissa: "i think I'm gonna need more scrolls."
[04:43] Jack cavity searches are infinitely less fun when your ass isn't invulnerable, godling.
[04:43] Livia mmmm. but then grace would break them out of prison.
[04:44] Livia kon: "I could do that, I just choose not to."
[04:44] Livia tim: "the sad thing is, he's telling the truth."
[04:45] Livia and as they get further up into the mountains, it gets colder and colder and they all have to snuggle at night.
[04:45] Livia selina: "tim, quit hogging kon! share him around!"
[04:45] Livia kon: "ah, that's not the first time I've heard that."
[04:45] Jack bee hee hee
[04:46] Livia tim: "I don't want him! you have him!"
[04:46] Livia but then dick reminds him about the sex.
[04:46] Livia It's IN THE PROPHECY! so they must!
[04:46] Livia and blah blah they fight the bad guy and return again to their homeland in glory.
[04:47] Livia and bruce says, "good job, little temple prostitute soldiers."
[04:47] Livia and dick and tim are like "yay!"
[04:47] Livia and grace and anissa go off to have more adventures, and kon tags along. he's their joxer.
[04:47] Livia "Kon-El the mighty, he's really.... mighty.... everybody loves him...."
[04:47] Livia "you can't rhyme mighty with mighty!"
[04:48] Sarah he's really flighty
[04:48] Sarah he's really...Aphrodite???
[04:48] Livia good one!!
[04:48] Livia anissa: "you do know that means 'stupid' and not 'able to fly.'"
[04:48] Livia kon-el: "hey, who's the godling and who's the scribe!"
[04:49] Sarah kon-el: "english means what I want to mean."
[04:49] Sarah "sleep! that's where I'm a viking!"
[04:49] Livia laughs
[04:50] Livia and selina has lots of sex with bruce, who now respects her heroism even though she's all dismissive of organized religion and thinks it's a racket, which was a divisive issue for them before.
[04:50] Livia and tim is all happy because he saved the world, and because he can have sex with kon whenever he wants.
[04:50] Livia and occasionally, dick sneaks into the altar room and hugs the scary bat god's legs.
[04:50] Livia "I love you scary bat god!"
[04:50] Jack meanwhile, the oracle plays matchmaker for the temple-prostitutes community.
[04:51] Livia [the end]
[04:51] Livia awww.
[04:51] Livia she could run the library, or the temple of wisdom.
[04:51] Jack she used to be a supplicant at the temple of justice, herself -- like her father before her -- but she's now paralysed from years of huffing sulphur fumes for her visions and doesn't go out anymore.
[04:52] Livia maybe she's the one who comes up with all the prophecies about the boys having to have sex with each other.
[04:52] Livia awwwwwww
[04:52] Livia "You and you! Sex! It will please the gods."
[04:52] Livia Dick: "Now you're just doing that randomly!"
[04:52] Livia "no I'm not!"
[04:52] Livia "You pointed at Tim and the umbrella stand!"
[04:52] Jack she has peepholes in the walls of all the area temples, so she can watch.
[04:52] Livia and birds that fly around and report back to her.
[04:53] Jack this was before umbrella stamds.
[04:53] Livia tim: *grimly humps the umbrella stand*
[04:53] Livia oh, whatever. the painted urn!
[04:53] Livia didn't the greeks have parasols?
[04:53] Sarah *giggles*
[04:55] Jack the romans invented the umbrella.
[04:55] Livia now I need an icon of Bruce that says, "Good job, little temple prostitute soldiers."
[04:55] Livia ok, the romans then.
[04:55] Jack but they used them to shade themselves from the sun, more than the rain.
[04:55] Livia that's why I said "parasols." :)
[04:56] Jack possibly my princess bride reference was too obliquie.
[04:56] Livia maybe? I missed it.
[04:57] Jack the umbrella-stands was it.
[04:57] Jack of course, it was a reference to the book, not the film.
[04:58] Livia ah, ok. I have read the book, but not in a while.
[04:58] Livia man. that was fun.
[04:58] Livia sometime we should do, like, a Victorian Regency AU.
[04:58] Livia but not right now, because my brain hurts.
[04:58] Jack hee!
[04:59] theJack pets Liv's brain.
[04:59] Jack mmm, braaaains
[04:59] Livia Now I want to draw them all.
[04:59] Livia Dick and Tim in their little tunics, and Kon in his animal skins with a big leather belt and a sword...
[04:59] Livia and Grace in a Xena suit
[05:00] Jack mmmmmmmmm
[05:03] Livia http://hallofheroes.free.fr/Images/Galeries/superboys.jpg
[05:03] Livia hey look! up and to the left... it's kon-el the mighty!
[05:22] Jack heeeeeeeeee it IS
And then, finally, I succumbed to the need to pass out as well, and went to bed myself.
edited to keep the name tags from being eated, d'oh
[03:09] Livia cereta's five things that never happened to dick grayson?
[03:09] Livia ALL GEN
[03:13] Jack well, but that middle one falls into the so-much-subtext-it-reads-like-porn category, as i recall.
[03:14] Livia the dick-raised-by-catwoman one?
[03:14] Livia I *remembered* it as being a lot sexier than it was.
[03:15] Livia but actually, it's pretty much gen with a reference to batman/catwoman
[03:18] Sarah hee hee hee.
[03:18] Sarah dick would have SO MUCH SEX WITH EVERYONE.
[03:18] Livia EXACTLY.
[03:22] Jack i think the bruce/dick subtext is there. it's subtle, but it's in the story, noy only in our minds.
[03:27] Livia I just think that if Dick was really raised by Selina, we'd have to call him Pornwing.
[03:30] Jack hm. i don't know.
[03:31] Jack i mean, she's not the prude bruce makes himself into, but neither is she, i think, even as, er, enthusuastically sex-positive as, say, roy or grace.
[03:32] Livia yeah, but i'd say she's mildly sex-positive-- she at least wouldn't give dick all the hangups bruce has given him.
[03:32] Livia like, i bet he'd be a lot more touchy feely.
[03:32] Jack yeah.
[03:33] Livia also, she wouldn't have let him get away with that terrible original nightwing costume. :)
[03:33] Livia or, who knows? it might have been purple.
[03:33] Jack but really, dick could've been raised in a monastery and turned out with fewer hangups about sex.
[03:33] Livia laughs
[03:33] Livia Brother Pornwing!
[03:34] Jack is it just me, or is the image of dick in brown friar's robes, tied with cord, desperately sexy?
[03:35] Livia hmm. can he go to connor's ashram?
[03:35] Jack sandals on his feet, and his hood up just enough to shadow his eyes...
[03:35] Livia ok, sandals = sexy
[03:35] Jack well, that's a different sort of monastery.
[03:35] Jack i'm not sure saffron is dick's colour.
[03:36] Livia I think they occasionally get confused even in the comics about what kind of monk Connor is.
[03:36] Sarah I doubt they have a good clear idea. ;)
[03:36] Livia they have him praying "Dear Father" in some comic or another that I have.
[03:36] Jack and he'd just smile all the time. keep his hood up but his grin would always be peeking out.
[03:36] Livia me: Buddhist! He's Buddhist!
[03:36] Livia awwwwww
[03:37] Jack yeah, but most people have no clear idea of what buddhist means.
[03:37] Livia yeah, you should hear whatserface who writes all the Tim Bayliss fic and actually is Buddhist.
[03:37] Livia what's her name?
[03:39] Jack he'd drive the abbot to distraction, smiling through prayers and devotions and all whatnot. 'brother richard, these are solemn duties!' 'but father, when i think of god's love, i can't help but be filled with joy!'
[03:39] Jack hm. i'm perving on monks now. i blame landevennec.
[03:40] Jack re the buddhist writer, i have no clue.
[03:40] Livia Now I'm imagining Dick having a relationship with God similar to his current relationship with Bruce.
[03:40] theJack DIES.
[03:40] Livia "La la la, everything's cool, loving all creatures great and small..." *BBBZZZZAAAPP*
[03:40] Livia Dick: "WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN MEEEEEE"
[03:40] Livia God: "..... Okay, I'm better now."
[03:40] Livia Dick: "I accept your total lack of apology."
[03:41] Sarah AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
[03:41] Livia God: "OK. By the way, about the flagellation... you don't really need to... what I'm saying is..."
[03:41] Sarah 'but it makes me feel pretty!'
[03:41] Livia Dick: "You don't like the flagellation?" *SNIFFLE*
[03:41] Livia *beehee*
[03:45] Jack bahahaha GUH.
[03:45] Jack oh, man
[03:46] Jack dick self-flagellating...
[03:49] Jack now i'm picturing him in his cell with his robes hitched up... 'thank you, god, for the pleasure of touching myself...'
[03:49] Livia God: "NO PROBLEM."
[03:52] Jack god would emjoy the show, i think.
[03:53] Livia Now I want Dick-with-wings again.
[03:54] Jack ooh.
[03:54] Jack dick as an angel?
[03:54] Livia mmm. or maybe just with wings, you know, wingfic.
[03:55] Livia big black fluttery wings. and long bishie hair. *grins*
[03:55] Jack dark wings. like a bird's, with feathers, but dark to patch his hair.
[03:55] Livia Damn, I should put that in the scenario generator. "..... grows a pair of wings."
[03:55] Jack er, MATCH his hair.
[03:55] Livia yeah, feathery and soft.
[03:55] Jack i can type, honest
[03:55] Sarah *considers*
[03:55] Livia and always twitching.
[03:55] Sarah Dick should really be a temple prostitute.
[03:55] Jack and a red breastplate.
[03:55] Livia Ooooooooo.
[03:55] Jack bahahaheeeee!
[03:56] Livia to the great scary bat god?
[03:56] Sarah exactly!
[03:56] Sarah ritual sex to please the scary bat god.
[03:56] Jack that would be disturbing, but in the good way.
[03:56] Livia sounds good to me.
[03:57] Livia because the scary bat god protects the kingdom from monsters, so he must be placated with beautiful, lithe virgins.
[03:57] Livia or, when they can't find any virgins, dick.
[03:58] Jack well, you know, i'm picturing wee orphaned dick being sold to the temple.
[03:58] Livia awwww.
[03:59] Livia and growing up being taught to tumble and dance and play the lyre and serve wine, like in The Persian Boy
[03:59] Jack and the big grim brooding priest looking at him and deciding, yes, this one will do.
[03:59] Livia I just have this image in my head of wee!dick standing front of the big scary obsidian idol.
[03:59] Livia "I love you scary bat god!!"
[04:00] Livia and giving its feet a big hug,
[04:00] Livia and then running away.
[04:00] Livia priest: "Do not hug Scary Bat God!!!"
[04:00] Jack bwee!
[04:00] Jack well. the priest is bruce.
[04:01] Jack and tolerant of dick's exuberance.
[04:01] Livia does he become the human incarnation of scary bat god once a year?
[04:01] Livia on, say, winter solstice?
[04:01] Jack indulgent, even.
[04:02] Livia well, he might *secretly* think it's cute. :)
[04:02] Jack at least once a year. better, all the 'high festivals'.
[04:02] Livia yeah, poor dick. he'd never last for a whole year.
[04:04] Sarah *laughs and laughs*
[04:04] Livia he would hang around bruce's quarters... "You know, the harvest is looking kind of scrawny.... I thinnk we might need to placate the bat god."
[04:04] Livia "no!!! three more weeks!"
[04:04] Sarah he would get caught using Scary Bat God as a launching pad for somersaults.
[04:04] Livia Awwwwwwww
[04:05] Jack by the time he was 14 or 15, he's be batting his eyelashes coquettishly at the priest from every corner of the temple.
[04:05] Jack peeking out from behind pillars.
[04:05] Livia wearing last year's tunic, which is kinda short on him
[04:05] Livia using kohl on his eyes.
[04:05] Jack mmmmmm
[04:06] Livia bruce: "you do realize that if you're de-virginized before your time, we'll all go to scary bat god hell."
[04:06] Jack lounging beside the well, eating fruit.
[04:06] Livia dick: *blinks eyelashes prettily*
[04:06] Livia "oh, I don't believe that. scary bat god is a god of love and compassion, really."
[04:06] Livia "I think he just wants us to be happy."
[04:07] Livia bruce: *vein in forehead twitches*
[04:07] Jack brucepriest: *grim*
[04:07] Livia "HE GUARDS THE GATES OF HELL"
[04:07] Livia "That doesn't mean he doesn't love me!"
[04:07] Livia awww.
[04:07] Jack 'i can FEEL how much he loves me...'
[04:07] Livia *snicker*
[04:07] Jack 'at every festival...'
[04:07] Livia He would be sooooo pretty.
[04:08] Jack obscenely pretty.
[04:08] Jack .....oh.
[04:08] Livia with bangles on his wrists and ankles, and a little circlet.
[04:08] Sarah hee hee hee.
[04:08] Sarah "I'll show you how much he loves you...when you're sixteen."
[04:09] Livia mmmsigh
[04:09] Livia and Dick would be all jealous of the current bat-god-favorite.... who would that be?
[04:09] Jack and eventually he would grow up, and become an acolyte, and the temple would need a new hetaiera. (am i spelling that right?)
[04:09] Jack jason. tim.
[04:09] Livia hetareia ?
[04:09] Jack jason is even a greek name.
[04:10] Sarah hetareia.
[04:10] Sarah I think.
[04:10] Jack temple prostitute works.
[04:10] Livia ooooh, you know what else would be cool?
[04:10] Jack umm...
[04:10] Sarah I hope someone is logging this for te.
[04:10] Jack alfred?
[04:10] Livia if weapons training was part of being the bat god temple prostitute.
[04:10] Jack i'm logging.
[04:10] Livia well, te's still HERE, so she'll see it eventually.
[04:10] Sarah for the sexy weapons rituals?
[04:10] Livia you know, nothing major, but knowing how to wave a sword around in a pretty manner.
[04:10] Sarah hetairos.
[04:10] Jack ooh.
[04:10] Livia sais, maybe, or a staff.
[04:12] Livia so bruce-priest has to teach him that.
[04:12] Jack heh. heheh. and one season a travelling monk and his acolyte, both dedicated to the archer god, would come to the city, and the temple would offer its hospitality...
[04:12] Livia YEE HEE HEE HEE
[04:12] Jack and they would all have SO MUCH SEX
[04:12] Livia Oh, man.
[04:12] Livia Roy.
[04:12] Jack or just spar a lot.
[04:13] Jack nude wrestling, sex, same thing.
[04:13] Livia Roy would be one of those SLUTTY temple prostitutes, like, of fertility (arrow = shaft = fertility god, spraying arrows everywhere)
[04:13] Livia who just has to have sex with LOTS OF PEOPLE ALL THE TIME.
[04:13] Livia Dick: "I only have sex with god!"
[04:13] Livia Roy: "......what kind of lame religion is THAT??"
[04:13] Jack HEE
[04:13] Livia Dick: *points* "that's the guy who gets to be god."
[04:13] Livia Roy: ".... yeah, ok."
[04:14] Jack that would be dick's line right up until roy tumbled him.
[04:14] Livia no! he's saving himself!
[04:14] Livia well, maybe they could get to, like, third base.
[04:14] Jack because much as he'd want to be with god/priest/bruce, he still has teen hormones.
[04:14] Livia yeah, I can totally see ollie crisscrossing the land, leaving bastards everywhere.
[04:15] Livia wait, that's canon ollie!
[04:15] Livia Man. Now I'm seeing all these temple babies getting together and forming the Temple Baby Titans.
[04:16] Sarah temple prostitutes, they usually *do* have lots of sex.
[04:16] Jack and ordinarily bruce's presence would serve to protect dick's er, 'virtue,' but roy keeps humping against bruce and trying to fondle him so he makes himself scarce.
[04:16] Sarah bruce just gets to devirginize him.
[04:16] Livia Donna, the virgin-huntress-priestess! Roy, the ho! Dick, the hellgod's favorite!
[04:16] Sarah after that, it's open season!
[04:16] Livia garth, uh, fish cracker, whatever.
[04:16] Sarah awww.
[04:16] Livia wally! kind of dim, but one of those hermes-type gods.
[04:16] Jack heyyy.
[04:16] Livia and together?
[04:16] Livia they fight crime!
[04:17] Jack mercury's the messenger god.
[04:17] Livia right.
[04:17] Sarah there are shapeshifter gods, too.
[04:17] Livia hence jay garrick's sparkly hat.
[04:17] Sarah there was a guy hercules fought.
[04:17] Jack so wally would always be running to new temples in new cites.
[04:17] Sarah one of his labors.
[04:17] Livia what would be even better is if the original JLA *are* actually the gods. diana, arthur, barry, etc.
[04:17] Jack delivering news and getting it on with whoever was in THAT temple.
[04:18] Sarah darn it. I am one of only two seeds offering up Fugitive Alien. *is reluctant to drp out now*
[04:18] Jack well, but bruce is that generation.
[04:18] Jack so the jsa would be the gods.
[04:18] Livia yeah, and he *is* the hellgod. for this generation.
[04:18] Livia hmmmmm
[04:18] Livia the others just don't have human incarnations like he does, maybe.
[04:19] Jack i think maybe we shouldn't try too hard to make this make sense.
[04:19] Jack porn! shiny!
[04:19] Livia grins
[04:19] Livia donna: "I'm not allowed to take part in the sacred mysteries."
[04:19] Livia roy and dick: "Awwwwww"
[04:20] Livia donna: "but I'm allowed to WATCH. So please. Feel free."
[04:20] Livia mm. anyway.
[04:20] Livia eventually dick would get too old, and he would be sent away
[04:20] Livia and he would be all sad, and jason would be the new temple boy.
[04:21] Livia but then terrible things would happen in the land, after jason got killed, and the new one, tim, would run away and find dick.
[04:21] Livia "you have to come back and be the temple boy again!"
[04:21] Livia "but I'm too old, he doesn't love me any moooore"
[04:21] Livia "well, he doesn't want me! and he didn't want jason! he LOVES YOU!"
[04:22] Livia so dick would come back, and become the temple priest, and have sex with temple boy tim, and also with bruce on the side.
[04:22] Livia the end.
[04:22] Livia tim would be a really grim temple boy. ^_^
[04:22] Jack yay!
[04:22] Sarah he'd be too theoretical about it.
[04:22] Livia "MUST.... GUARD... HELL..... and sometimes have gay sex."
[04:22] Jack heh. tim would do it out of DUTY.
[04:23] Livia See, he'd say things like "The harvest looks bad! Gay sex right now!"
[04:23] Livia and he really would mean it because of the *harvest*.
[04:23] Jack grim, dutiful orgasms.
[04:23] Sarah just to save the harvest!
[04:23] Livia nods, laughing
[04:23] Sarah exactly!
[04:23] Livia but then he'd meet kon-the-godling who would cheer him up.
[04:23] Livia kon would be like hercules, big and dumb and constantly getting in trouble.
[04:24] Jack and dick would be all, you're so grim, like bruce, but also so lithe and pretty. oh. i've soiled my robes.
[04:24] Livia snerfs
[04:24] theJack dies a thousand times.
[04:24] Jack kon. KON.
[04:24] Jack he BELONGS in this story so much.
[04:24] Livia He'd walk into the tavern... "BEHOLD! I AM KON, SON OF KAL-EL! Wenches, form a line to the left."
[04:24] Livia Wenches: Yay!
[04:25] Livia "please feel free to bask in my glory. no, go ahead, bask."
[04:25] Jack and then he'd see tim, and be smitten.
[04:25] Livia awww
[04:25] Livia and tim would be like, right, "no! I am only for the hellgod."
[04:25] Sarah "stableboys, form a line to the right!"
[04:25] Jack hey. who's that grim boy who seems un-awed by my might and divinity?
[04:26] Livia right. what's a godling when you've been with a god?
[04:27] Jack hee!
[04:28] Jack and then tim would discover that bruce has been dallying in secret with the sun god, kal-el-pollo, for years...
[04:29] Livia kal-el-pollo. sounds like he's the god of... chicken?
[04:29] Livia well, all ancient gods are hos.
[04:30] Livia and then, let's see.
[04:30] Livia there would be some dark danger rising in the mountains to the north!
[04:31] Livia and dick would say, "look, I spoke to the hellgod last night, tim, and he wants you to have sex with kon-el."
[04:31] Livia "there's a mystical... force... convergence... thing.... er.... right. anyway, you guys need to go off, fight the monster, oh, and do the nasty a lot."
[04:31] Jack bahahaha
[04:32] Livia tim: *grim*
[04:32] Livia "okay. for the safety of our kingdom, and to honor our god."
[04:32] Livia dick: ".....and.... and also 'cause he's cute, right?"
[04:32] Livia "....hadn't noticed."
[04:32] Livia Tim: *polishes sword intensely*
[04:33] Sarah "but first kon must be ritually initiated into *our* temple."
[04:33] Livia yay!
[04:33] Sarah which means...sex with the temple priest!
[04:33] Sarah after the lambs have had their throats cut, of course.
[04:33] Livia kon: woot!
[04:33] Livia awww.
[04:33] Sarah tim: hey!
[04:34] Livia better not let Bart see that part.
[04:34] Sarah dick (reprovingly): jealousy is a sin.
[04:35] Livia tim: "I just don't think he's WORTHY. He's dumb... and a braggart... and ok, he has the finest ass I've seen outside this temple, and sparkly blue eyes, and the way he thrusts his cock out makes me kinda tingly, but... uh... uh...."
[04:35] Livia dick: "initiation it is! go get oiled up and wait for us in the altar room."
[04:35] Livia tim: *rassa frassa*
[04:36] Sarah 'outside this temple.' tim shows the proper respect!
[04:36] Livia he has priorities!
[04:36] Sarah bruce (walks in from his nearby hut): dick, are you 'initiating' people with permission again?
[04:36] Livia hm. and if selina were in this story, she'd be the head of the secular prostitutes' guild.
[04:36] Sarah without, I mean.
[04:36] Livia *snicker*
[04:36] Livia dick: "god is love?"
[04:36] Sarah dick: mmmmmmmaybe?
[04:36] Livia hee hee
[04:37] Livia "I love you cold unfeeling bat god arm!"
[04:37] Sarah of course, selina is always honing (almost wrote hoing) her skills against her competitor's!
[04:37] Livia and tim would have to drag kon out of selina's bed in order to get him to the temple.
[04:37] Livia selina: "oh, I don't think he's got much left for *you* boys...."
[04:38] Livia kon: "yes I do!" *sproing*
[04:38] Sarah "but--but--that was the best sweet lovin' I've ever had!"
[04:38] Livia awwww
[04:38] Sarah tim: "you have NO IDEA what's in store for you!"
[04:38] Sarah "once you go dick, you never go chick!"
[04:38] Livia tim: "we don't just have sex for raw, animal pleasure! we do it for SERVICE AND DUTY!"
[04:38] Livia *laughing*
[04:39] Livia Kon: "That's great, I just remembered I left my horse untied over there, uh...."
[04:39] Jack grace should be in this story.
[04:39] Livia tim: *drags*
[04:39] Jack making like xena.
[04:39] Livia she can be a barbarian princess-- yes!
[04:39] Livia and anissa is, of course, the daughter of the lightning-and-thunder god.
[04:39] Sarah dick: tim, I have to tell you something. the third time I nail you every night? that's just for raw animal pleasure.
[04:39] Jack with a little blond chick who tags along with her everywhere, um, 'chronicling' their 'adventures'
[04:39] Livia and maybe-- AHAHAHAHAH AWWWWWW
[04:40] Livia anissa can be the blond chick.
[04:40] Jack of course!
[04:40] Livia snickers at sarah
[04:40] Jack tim decides he can live with that.
[04:40] Livia and they would all meet up on their way out to fight the evil bad.
[04:40] Livia tim and dick and kon and grace and anissa.
[04:41] Livia and possibly selina for some reason. maybe she's their cover for travelling through enemy country.
[04:41] Livia "oh, officer, you don't want to search my cart. it's just full of boy-whores."
[04:41] Livia (later, after they all got arrested)
[04:42] Livia dick: "oh, GREAT PLAN. 'My cart is full of boy-whores!'"
[04:42] Livia kon: "what are you complaining about? that was fun."
[04:42] Livia anissa: "i think I'm gonna need more scrolls."
[04:43] Jack cavity searches are infinitely less fun when your ass isn't invulnerable, godling.
[04:43] Livia mmmm. but then grace would break them out of prison.
[04:44] Livia kon: "I could do that, I just choose not to."
[04:44] Livia tim: "the sad thing is, he's telling the truth."
[04:45] Livia and as they get further up into the mountains, it gets colder and colder and they all have to snuggle at night.
[04:45] Livia selina: "tim, quit hogging kon! share him around!"
[04:45] Livia kon: "ah, that's not the first time I've heard that."
[04:45] Jack bee hee hee
[04:46] Livia tim: "I don't want him! you have him!"
[04:46] Livia but then dick reminds him about the sex.
[04:46] Livia It's IN THE PROPHECY! so they must!
[04:46] Livia and blah blah they fight the bad guy and return again to their homeland in glory.
[04:47] Livia and bruce says, "good job, little temple prostitute soldiers."
[04:47] Livia and dick and tim are like "yay!"
[04:47] Livia and grace and anissa go off to have more adventures, and kon tags along. he's their joxer.
[04:47] Livia "Kon-El the mighty, he's really.... mighty.... everybody loves him...."
[04:47] Livia "you can't rhyme mighty with mighty!"
[04:48] Sarah he's really flighty
[04:48] Sarah he's really...Aphrodite???
[04:48] Livia good one!!
[04:48] Livia anissa: "you do know that means 'stupid' and not 'able to fly.'"
[04:48] Livia kon-el: "hey, who's the godling and who's the scribe!"
[04:49] Sarah kon-el: "english means what I want to mean."
[04:49] Sarah "sleep! that's where I'm a viking!"
[04:49] Livia laughs
[04:50] Livia and selina has lots of sex with bruce, who now respects her heroism even though she's all dismissive of organized religion and thinks it's a racket, which was a divisive issue for them before.
[04:50] Livia and tim is all happy because he saved the world, and because he can have sex with kon whenever he wants.
[04:50] Livia and occasionally, dick sneaks into the altar room and hugs the scary bat god's legs.
[04:50] Livia "I love you scary bat god!"
[04:50] Jack meanwhile, the oracle plays matchmaker for the temple-prostitutes community.
[04:51] Livia [the end]
[04:51] Livia awww.
[04:51] Livia she could run the library, or the temple of wisdom.
[04:51] Jack she used to be a supplicant at the temple of justice, herself -- like her father before her -- but she's now paralysed from years of huffing sulphur fumes for her visions and doesn't go out anymore.
[04:52] Livia maybe she's the one who comes up with all the prophecies about the boys having to have sex with each other.
[04:52] Livia awwwwwww
[04:52] Livia "You and you! Sex! It will please the gods."
[04:52] Livia Dick: "Now you're just doing that randomly!"
[04:52] Livia "no I'm not!"
[04:52] Livia "You pointed at Tim and the umbrella stand!"
[04:52] Jack she has peepholes in the walls of all the area temples, so she can watch.
[04:52] Livia and birds that fly around and report back to her.
[04:53] Jack this was before umbrella stamds.
[04:53] Livia tim: *grimly humps the umbrella stand*
[04:53] Livia oh, whatever. the painted urn!
[04:53] Livia didn't the greeks have parasols?
[04:53] Sarah *giggles*
[04:55] Jack the romans invented the umbrella.
[04:55] Livia now I need an icon of Bruce that says, "Good job, little temple prostitute soldiers."
[04:55] Livia ok, the romans then.
[04:55] Jack but they used them to shade themselves from the sun, more than the rain.
[04:55] Livia that's why I said "parasols." :)
[04:56] Jack possibly my princess bride reference was too obliquie.
[04:56] Livia maybe? I missed it.
[04:57] Jack the umbrella-stands was it.
[04:57] Jack of course, it was a reference to the book, not the film.
[04:58] Livia ah, ok. I have read the book, but not in a while.
[04:58] Livia man. that was fun.
[04:58] Livia sometime we should do, like, a Victorian Regency AU.
[04:58] Livia but not right now, because my brain hurts.
[04:58] Jack hee!
[04:59] theJack pets Liv's brain.
[04:59] Jack mmm, braaaains
[04:59] Livia Now I want to draw them all.
[04:59] Livia Dick and Tim in their little tunics, and Kon in his animal skins with a big leather belt and a sword...
[04:59] Livia and Grace in a Xena suit
[05:00] Jack mmmmmmmmm
[05:03] Livia http://hallofheroes.free.fr/Images/Galeries/superboys.jpg
[05:03] Livia hey look! up and to the left... it's kon-el the mighty!
[05:22] Jack heeeeeeeeee it IS
And then, finally, I succumbed to the need to pass out as well, and went to bed myself.
edited to keep the name tags from being eated, d'oh
