Hmm...should there be a 'had' in there? ...even before Bruce had said...?
Past participle is such a bitch, not least because a) it's grown uncommon and b) people tend to drop haves and hads in speaking when they do use it. But... I think the construction of that sentence makes it unnecessary, though I'll be damned if I can explain how. Plus I'm too pleased with myself for getting it down to 500 to bear going back over now. :p
The thing that's bugging me now is "the change Dick saw coming changed his life just as much." I hate repeating a word except for effect, which it isn't there. I'm pondering "remade" -- transformed and revolutionalised just sound too over the top (and trite), altered isn't strong enough -- suggestions?
I adore the last line.
Thanks! I actually wrote the whole thing around that, or rather up to it. Yay backassward writing.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
Re: Bat Gen
Date: 2002-07-29 12:27 am (UTC)Past participle is such a bitch, not least because a) it's grown uncommon and b) people tend to drop haves and hads in speaking when they do use it. But... I think the construction of that sentence makes it unnecessary, though I'll be damned if I can explain how. Plus I'm too pleased with myself for getting it down to 500 to bear going back over now. :p
The thing that's bugging me now is "the change Dick saw coming changed his life just as much." I hate repeating a word except for effect, which it isn't there. I'm pondering "remade" -- transformed and revolutionalised just sound too over the top (and trite), altered isn't strong enough -- suggestions?
I adore the last line.
Thanks! I actually wrote the whole thing around that, or rather up to it. Yay backassward writing.