buggery | Crack-generator fic: Ladysitting

You all remember the crack generator, right? (That's the extra-cracktastic one with porn cliches like sex pollen and amnesia mixed in.) Well, Te and I were playing with it again.

I think 'both write a story based on the same generator result' is my new favourite version of the crack game...

Dick Grayson and/or Lois Lane ...encounter a spankbot

Ladysitting

'I know I can trust *you*, Dick,' Superman had whispered in his ear, 'but Lois, well... She's a reporter. It's her job to--'

'Snoop around?' Dick had said.

Superman had grinned, and given him a super-wink, almost too fast to see. 'To investigate things. And she sometimes forgets that she doesn't have to be working all the time.'

'So... you want me to keep an eye on her. Make sure she doesn't go... *investigating* around where she shouldn't be.'

He'd gotten an even bigger, brighter grin, the kind that warmed Dick right up even when he wasn't in the Arctic circle. 'I'd really appreciate it, Robin,' Superman had said. And really, who could refuse Superman anything?

Lois Lane, apparently, as Dick has now discovered to his chagrin and discomfort.

Really, maybe one of them -- or all of them -- ought to have realised that chaperoning Ms Lane might be too much for even the Boy Wonder to handle. After all, Bruce himself had been eager to make his escape from her.

She'd been pressing him with questions about Arkham, of all things, when Superman had brought Dick back to the room Alfred would call the Fortress's foyer. Somebody else might have taken Bruce's curt, 'Enough. We have work to do,' as just his regular Batman grim-and-gruff act, but Dick knew better. Bruce had been practically desperate to get out of her clutches, stuck without the usual playboy-Bruce-Wayne tactics he usually used to deflect the press.

No sooner had Bruce taken Superman's elbow before the two of them had lifted up and gone into some upper level of the Fortress inaccessible to people who couldn't fly. Dick had given half a moment's thought to how he could reach the opening with a couple of well-places grapples, and nearly missed the way Ms Lane had all but dashed out of the room.

The Fortress didn't have tons of secrets just laying around, fortunately. Dick had come to appreciate that as he'd followed the intrepid reporter through chamber after chamber, parrying her sharp looks when he suggested that maybe she oughtn't to press unlabeled buttons, or asked what she was looking for in a drawer full of linens, with his best earnest-and-impressionable-youth expression.

But then she had found the door.

A *closed* door. Of course it had been an irresistible temptation for her.

Dick had decided to make a stand when she'd started trying to figure out the door's mechanism. It was surrounded by Kryptonian-language symbols in different colours, and she'd apparently -- and correctly -- deduced that touching one or more of the symbols would actually make the door open.

Unfortunately for Dick, he'd been between her and the door, arms outstretched, suggesting that the door was probably closed for a good *reason* when she had said, flippantly, 'If we weren't supposed to go in there the door would be locked,' and done something fateful out of sight above Dick's head.

She had gasped, 'Superman!' when the door opened and Dick had stumbled backwards through the opening. Dick had known as soon as the cold hand clamped round the back of his neck that it wasn't Superman at all.

Dick wasn't sure how the robot was managing to hold them both down. There were things he *was* sure of:

Ms Lane having her skirt flipped up was a worse indignity than his having his cape flipped up.

Ms Lane was squirming and crying out just as much as Dick was.

The robot was clearly programmed to be fair, as it was spanking them each in turn, and by the sound of it equally hard.

The robot was not clearly programmed to stop at any point, and certainly not when either of them cried out, 'Stop!'

Ms Lane was either too embarassed to call out to Superman for help -- it wasn't like he wouldn't be able to hear them, after all, since his super-hearing let him hear cries for help from halfway around the world -- or she was enjoying being spanked by a robot that looked exactly like Superman...

...Just as much as Dick was.

And he was finally managing to keep her out of trouble.

ENDY

Te's take on the same generator result is here.

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