fanfic peeve of the week

[buggery]

Because I'm finding myself with plenty enough to gripe about at least once a week.

It's in the details, people:

Lex's desk is glass, not wood; it has metal legs and no drawers; it's really more of a table. The chair behind it is neither padded nor leather. These things are clearly visible in numerous episodes.

Or is there another show people are watching that I've missed out on? From the number of stories in which Lex swivels his leather desk chair for a blowjob, or Clark fetches lube out of the desk drawer, or someone gets bent over his heavy wood desk and grips the sides of it, I'm starting to wonder.

Comments

[evil-man.livejournal.com]

I think another important issue here is to consider just for a moment what you'd be thinking whilst reading a fic where Lex fucks Clark/Whitney/Chloe/the milkmen on his glass desk.

I don't know about you but I'd be seriously worried about that thing breaking and whilst Clark wouldn't be hurt can you imagine explaining *that* trip to the emergency room ???

Not that I always look at inanimate objects and consider what it would be like to have Lex fucking on them. I swear I don't... I think that about animate objects too *eg*

As perpetrator of said heinous crimes, fic-related not desk-fucking related, although... well this isn't the place for those ramblings, I tend to view some details as not entirely important in the overall scheme of things. It's very easy to lose sight of what's important when wondering about Lex's office furnishings, or whether the castle is in fact a castle at all...

IMO.

Maybe I need to add an inanimate-objects disclaimer on anything I write. Warning, some of the furniture is AU and may or may not have appeared in Smallville.

An extreme example I know but I think it illustrates the point I’m attempting to make. To me this is more a matter of expediency than a matter of laziness. Having Lex take lube from a drawer is certainly preferable to having it magically appear?

Or maybe I need to spend more time focusing on what’s important ???

[buggery.livejournal.com]

Ack! I never meant to imply that they should be fucking on the glass table! Definitely too much risk of accidental evisceration there. (Against it still works. Ahh, Kinetic. Turn around, Lex...)

I'm just saying, if you want the boys bent over some massive piece of furniture, gripping the sides... there's a pool table right there. And it only takes a moment for you (general you writer, not anyone you in particular) to put that lube in the cabinet behind the desk, or in the sideboard the liquor sits atop, or in a hollowed out book on the shelf... see, it's even fun playing hide-the-lube. Also, there's always spit.

Re:

[evil-man.livejournal.com]

Also, there's always spit.

I hope you're not suggesting Lex hides that in a hollowed out book on the shelf ??? *BG*

[buggery.livejournal.com]

Nah, the hollowed-out book is for the fancy lube he has imported from Japan. The spit he mostly 'hides' up Clark's ass.